A Week of Milestones

The College Student

As you can see by my new heading, S has graduated!!  The festivities started last Friday when we headed up to Richmond to the Homeschool convention.  That day we checked him in for graduation, signed his diploma, and sent him off to the Senior Meet and Greet.  He originally had not planned on attending this event; however, he was glad he decided to go.  

Saturday was the big day.  We headed back up to Richmond for commencement practice and the commencement ceremony.  I have to give a shout out to HEAV for a phenomenal job on the commencement ceremony! I made contact with them back in the fall to check on accessibility for S, and everything was in place on Saturday.  The ceremony was very nice, and S was glad he participated in it (again, something he didn’t want to do in the fall).

After the ceremony, we were going to eat at The Cheesecake Factory except there was an hour wait.  We headed to Q’s Barbecue for supper and went back to The Cheesecake Factory to get cheesecake to go.  It was quite yummy!

On Monday, S found out that his College Algebra course has been approved as a transfer credit and his Math Placement Test was waived!  Tuesday he met with the Director of Disabled Student Services to get his accommodations put in place, and he is now registered for Fall classes.  He is starting with English Composition I, Statistics, and College Survival Skills.  We decided that it was better to start slowly and be successful instead of completely overwhelming him.  The Director talked to S about taking the German CLEP to test out of foreign language.  He is pumped up about that.  

Everything S wanted done before we head to Minnesota has been complete.  He is quite happy about that.  

The Junior

J is finally done with school.  He still had 2 exams on Monday:  English and PreCalc.  He is now done!

J hit a big milestone this past week also.  He finished his behind the wheel and passed his driver’s test!  He is a licensed driver.  Woo hoo!  

He has driven himself to/from practice starting on the first day.  It was a little stressful for me, but I know it is part of the process. The coach's wife has him text her when he gets to his car after leaving the gym, and he has to call/text her when he gets home. He has to let us know when he arrives at the gym and when he is ready to leave. He knows that everyone just wants him to be safe and know where he is at.

J missed practice Monday night.  My parents were flying home on Tuesday, so he wanted to spend time with them.  He also had his driver’s test at 6:50 AM Tuesday morning, so we wanted him to be well rested.

Next week, J has two college visits.  Busy, busy!

On the Homefront

We did it!  We managed to get S through middle school and high school.  My husband was very sweet.  He bought me flowers and gave me some cards thanking me for all of my hard work homeschooling S. He’s a keeper!

My parents flew in for the commencement ceremony.  It was a crazy week while they were here. J was doing his behind the wheel.  His school schedule was crazy due to exams.  He had practice.  

My parents and J hung out on Friday afternoon while my husband and I took S up to Richmond. We had the opportunity to connect with a college friend of mine while S was at the Meet and Greet.  It has been 14 years since we have seen her.  We had a great visit.  We may have been a little loud.  We met up with my friend again on Saturday before commencement.  She knows my parents.  It was another loud visit, but it was fun.  

The commencement ceremony was very nice.  J took pictures for us during the ceremony, so we were able to enjoy the whole experience and appreciate the moment.   

It has been HOT here this week.  The heat index has been in triple digits for too many days. Enough said!

Since J has his license, he has started driving himself to/from practice. My husband and I now have extra time in the evening. It is quite strange. We could get used to this.

What have I written this week?

Maintaining Birth/Cultural Ties

We will be on the road this weekend, so you won’t find me on the couch with chocolate.  You will find me in the van with chocolate (see below)!  

We used to eat Ritter Sports when we lived in Germany.
I found this box at Sam's Club for a very yummy price.

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Graduation is 8 days away!

The Senior

S has had an easy week.  He attended a luncheon on Monday to hear a speaker discuss the French influence on the construction of some Army installations near us.  He loved that. Tuesday’s chiropractic appointment was cancelled because the doctor was sick; however, I didn’t check my voicemail prior to leaving for the office in a massive storm.  Oops! Today he has horseback riding.

On the school side, he has been wrapping up his German IV course.  Graduation is in 8 days!!

Last week I wrote how S was waiting to hear from the community college about his College Algebra course but his transcript had disappeared.  It has been found.  He is now waiting on the official verdict as to whether or not he needs to take the Math placement test and if he will get credit for the course.  Looking forward to that decision being made so he can register for his classes.

The Sophomore

J had a great week!  His braces came off on Monday!!!!!!

He’s busy wrapping things up at school.  It is locker clean out time. Oh my word! High school is better than elementary school, but it is still a lot. He came home the other day with his PE shirt and books he had used for sophomore summer reading. We also had the AP History study book and flashcards. He had ideas as to who we could give these items too. Great idea! We are quickly handing things off to families with rising sophomores. The PE shirt is going to a rising freshman.  These families are helping us out by taking this stuff.
J's last day is June 15, a Monday.  Not only is it a Monday, they are taking finals so the kids have to be there.  Finals start next Wednesday afternoon.  He is exempt from the one Wednesday afternoon.  Thursday, Friday, and Monday are two exams each day.  He is exempt from the second one on Thursday.  Being exempt means he can leave campus. He likes that. They get the exemptions if they pass their SOLs (state testing).  They can be recommended to take the final if their final grade can be helped by it.

We scheduled J’s behind the wheel training to get his license.  That will start next Monday. These next few weeks are not going to be any less crazy around here.  We used to say “wait until things get back to normal” but we know that this is our normal.

On the Homefront

As noted from above, it’s been busy here.  We had a great time on our trip to South Carolina last weekend, but we were tired when we got home Sunday night.  

It was a busy week with appointments.  Tuesday we had bad storms and our power went out for 3 hours.  Of course, J had homework that required internet access.  Everything S wanted to get done on Tuesday afternoon required the computer and internet access so we read instead.  

It has been quite rainy here all week.  That makes it hard to get outside work done, and our backyard needs a great deal of TLC.  I happened to see an episode of “Yard Crashers” while we were in the hotel in South Carolina.  I need that to happen to us.

I have been cleaning off bookshelves. I started doing this last summer. Even so, it is amazing how much school "stuff" has accumulated through the years, and I have only homeschooled one child who did the majority of his work on the computer. We have friends from church who homeschool, so I offer my stuff to them.  I realized yesterday that I hadn't cancelled our annual subscription to ALEKS, so I got on that quickly. We have used this for S's math for 5 years, and it was a great fit for him. I have also been printing end of year/school documents: grades, transcripts, reading logs, course descriptions. I have one final letter to send to our school district stating, "S has graduated."

This weekend will be busy.  One of our pastors is moving to New Jersey.  Saturday afternoon their family and dog are supposed to come and hang out at our house while there is an Open House held at their house. That evening is a farewell dinner/program at church.  We are only going to the program.  They are expecting quite a few people which is good; however, it is very difficult for S to get around safely with that many people there.  

We are having friends over along with our pastor and his family Sunday evening for cake and ice cream.

My parents are flying in on Tuesday for S’s commencement.  There will be some house cleaning happening here!  They sleep in S's room when they visit, so he knows his room needs to be cleaned. It's not as bad as it has been in the past, so it shouldn't take him very long.

What did I write this week?

It has taken a village…

Celebrating Adoption Day

This weekend you will find me on the couch with chocolate watching the Dateline episode about medical marijuana on June 7.  My friend is in this episode.  She is an amazing woman!  

Linking up with:

What My Senior Thinks & Testing

The Senior

S has been working to get his last two classes finished.  I won’t say he is working joyfully because he isn’t.

This is what I heard from him on Tuesday…

“I think we should make a deal.”

“I think since I am so close to being finished that you should cut me some slack.”

“I think that I shouldn’t have to write the last essay.”

“I think since you are more excited about me being done than I am that you should just let me be finished.  Then, you can be really excited.”

“I think that I have too much to juggle right now.”

...and the list goes on.  I told him he doesn’t have to finish German IV since that is an elective, but he must finish English 12.  Guess which class he wants to finish and which one he doesn’t?  In addition to everything else he was thinking that day, he thinks I was being ridiculous.

I will say he continued to plug away at his work, so he gets a shout out for that.

***********************************************************************************************************

This was almost an appointment/activity free week for him which gave him a lot of time to get work done.  This was good because he has 3 appointments, youth group, and horseback riding next week.  He needs to talk to transportation also because of his assigned pickup location which isn’t near our house nor is it safe for him to get there (traffic, lack of sidewalks, distance, etc.).  

S has been in frequent contact with the Assistive Technology person at the community college trying to coordinate his accommodations for the placement tests he needs to take.  I have to say that everyone he has emailed at the college has been very quick in their responses.  The AT person has emailed late in the evening and early in the morning.  We were hoping S could get his testing done this week, and he was able to get in to start his English placement test today.  He is there right now.  We are hoping they will waive the Math placement test after they evaluate his request regarding his College Algebra course.  We shall see.  

This afternoon he is doing a telephone conference with his Vocational Rehab counselor prior to their meeting next week.

He did make some graduation party decisions for us which is progress.  Yeah! He knows it is coming.  He has agreed to go to the Senior Meet and Greet which is being held the day before the commencement ceremony.  He also agreed to join the Google group for the graduates.  

The Sophomore

Testing!  That was the word of the week for J and school.  Because it was AP exam week and SOL testing at school, the schedules have been crazy for the kids.  J took his AP History exam yesterday.  He has his Chemistry SOL today.  Next week he will take his History SOL.  Then they will ramp up for finals.

J went to the doctor yesterday to talk about a referral to an allergist.  We talked about if he would be a candidate for allergy shots.  His seasonal allergies are getting worse and he is limited to what he can take due to his high blood pressure.  The doctor has ordered the initial labs for a blood draw; however, J has to wait until Monday since he needs to be off of his allergy medication for at least 3 days.  

He only had practice for 3 days this week because there were other activities at their facility. Since there is no practice tonight, we are heading to Busch Gardens for a little family fun.

On the Homefront

We have accomplished many tasks on our massive to-do lists.  My husband finished sheetrocking the garage for part of my Mother’s Day gift.  It looks very nice out there now. The yard was mowed.  S’s announcements were addressed, stamped, and mailed.  We went to Party City to look at plates, silverware, cups, etc. for the party.  

I have all of the pictures sorted for S’s photo boards.  J is going to finish putting them together this weekend.  There are so many!!  It has been fun looking through the pictures.

What did I write this week?

Take your test scores and….

For some entertaining thoughts from my husband on life with a senior, check out his post - A "Little, Orange" Support Team.  

This weekend you will find me on the couch with chocolate listening to more of my senior's thoughts. Have a good one!

Linking up with:

Take your test scores and.....

Anyone who has a child with special needs has been down the path of testing your child.  The reasoning behind the testing is something like this, “We must test your child so we can see exactly where they are to provide the best education placement possible.”

Having been a former Special Education teacher, I kind of get this thought process.  However, having been a former Special Education teacher, I also know that the test scores don’t give me the complete picture of the child.  I needed to work with the child, talk with the child, observe the child, etc.  The test scores played a very small role in the overall picture.  

And yet….

there is so much emphasis placed on test scores.  You want to label my son, who has multiple disabilities which makes testing him very difficult, and tell me how successful he will be based upon these scores that aren’t normed for a child who has fine motor issues which cause problems with timed tests or vision problems.  

When S started school, we didn’t know for sure how much of an impact his CP and vision issues had on his intellectual development.  We were also dealing with the fact that English was not his first language.  He was adopted from Bulgaria at the age of 4.  Fortunately, we were working with a team that understood all of this.  Just in case they didn’t, I had printed multiple articles off of the internet addressing the issue of testing children who were adopted internationally.  

However,

there is always one person in the meeting who thinks the test scores are “it”.  That person, in this particular meeting, was the school psychologist.  She started spouting numbers like they were written in stone.  I, of course, had already flipped through all the pages to see what the end results said, and it wasn’t pretty.  Had we placed S in an educational program based upon these numbers, we would not be talking about him getting ready to graduate and going to college.  I would not be blogging about his love of History and Foreign Languages.  I would not tell people how he is currently taking German IV and took a year of Russian.  

However,

the rest of the team just wanted a baseline from which to work.  There was no question about his intelligence from them because they had all worked with him individually.  The test scores allowed them to check the box that said they had tested him.

We know that we were lucky to have the overwhelming majority of the team on S’s side.  They wanted to see him succeed academically.  They pushed him to do the best he could in school. The director of Special Education asked me one day if they were pushing too hard.  

“We just want him to be successful, and we don’t want him frustrated.”  

“Oh, you will know if you have pushed him too hard.  It will be VERY clear.”

And then,

we moved.  He was tested again.  

And then,

we moved again.  He went through a triennial review which is hours of testing.  

And then,

we decided to homeschool and that testing stopped.  How nice!  No numbers swirling around anywhere trying to determine what my child can or cannot do.  No numbers trying to dictate his future or educational placement.  

Because we homeschool, we do have to test him at the end of every school year to show progress to the state.  

The numbers are just that….numbers.  They don’t tell me anything I don’t already know.  He has a very strong vocabulary.  He doesn’t do as well with grammar (commas are not his friend).  He does well in math...as long as he writes the problems out and doesn’t try to solve everything in his head.

But now,

as we prepare to send him to college there is a great deal of emphasis on “THE TEST” whether it is the ACT or the SAT.  

However,

in order to get the accommodations S was going to require for either of these tests, we needed current testing data on him. We took him for psychoeducational testing.  So, he had to be tested before the test.  Is that as clear as mud?

Again, the results did not tell us anything we didn’t already know.  Every accommodation that was recommended was exactly what we had told the psychologist he would need.  [I am not hacking on this psychologist.  We brought S in there for this exact purpose.  This doctor was very nice and understood exactly what we were trying to do.]

In the end,

we decided that S would not take the SAT or the ACT. Taking the ACT or the SAT is not going to prove to anyone how well S will or will not do in school.  Only by working with him, talking to him, watching him, understanding how much time and effort he puts into his schoolwork will anyone understand how successful he will be.

Instead,

he will take the placement tests at the community college which is where he will start school in the fall.  We are hoping this will be done in the next 2-3 weeks.  He is working to get his accommodations in place at this point. This is a much easier process and less stressful for him.

So,

you can take your test scores and……find me on the couch with chocolate.

The "Great Big Book of S".

As a parent of a child who has special needs, I feel like I need to be prepared for whatever life throws at us.  I, along with my husband and other parents of children who have special needs, are asked to do many things for our children.  We are asked to be advocates for our children in the educational arena.  We are asked to convey medical information between specialists.  We are asked to schedule numerous appointments with therapists and coordinate insurance referrals.  We are forever filling out paperwork for some office or agency and dropping it off at the clinic so our doctor can sign it.

As a former Special Education teacher, I knew the importance of keeping all of S's documents. In meetings, I would tell parents that they needed to keep all of the papers together .  What I didn't know was the volume of paperwork that these parents were handling.  Also, it's not always clear divisions of paperwork.  Sometimes medical crosses into educational and vice versa.  

What has helped us stay sane throughout all of this?  We have what we call "The Great Big Book of S".  Through the years, we have compiled 3, 3-inch, 3-ring binders filled with S's information. 

We learned the organization techniques for S's book through Pam and Pete Wright's book, From Emotions to Advocacy, http://www.wrightslaw.com/nltr/12/ss.organize.file.htm, and additional helpful reading from http://www.wrightslaw.com/. We have adapted these techniques as we have needed for our situation.

*What goes into the "Great Big Book of S"?

1.  Anything pertaining to S and his care

2.  We have a list of all of his providers with phone numbers, fax numbers, addresses, and email addresses.  My husband has a copy of this document at work in case he needs to make phone calls.

3.  We have a plastic protector to hold any business cards we receive from providers.

4.  Medical reports

5.  Documents from school (IEPs, report cards, notes from the teacher, etc.)

6.  Any testing reports (school or elsewhere)

7.  Copies of any correspondence from us to others about S

8.  Insurance referrals

9.  Copies of prescriptions

*How is the "Great Big Book of S" organized?

1.  Organize everything chronologically.

2.  Create a "table of contents" for your book.  

3.  We printed calendars and put in the binder also to record appointments and meetings.  That was very helpful for us.  

4.  We used sticky flags to mark new months, so we could find things easier..

*How is the "Great Big Book of S" beneficial?

1.  There is a definite attitude shift on the part of professionals when they see us whip out the book(s).  We have traveled with some large bags to get these books to appointments.

Example of the benefit:  

Shortly after moving to Virginia, I attended a triennial review for S by myself since my husband was gone.  I came in with my bag full of binders, notebook, and pen.  Since we had just moved, I was talking to the team members from the school discussing S's transition.  An administrator from the district office came in, looked around, visited with everyone, and said that the meeting could start as soon as the parents arrived.  Imagine her surprise when she found out mom was there already..

2.  It saves our sanity to know that we have S's documents all together, and we don't have to dig for them.
Example:

A couple of months ago, we received a statement from the insurance company that they had paid a medical bill for S...to a gastroenterologist.  The problem is he has never seen a gastroenterologist. The date of service was the day he saw the ophthalmologist.  This was a call to the insurance company which was made much easier because we had the insurance referral, the medical bill, proof of our co-pay, and now this statement all together in one spot.  

3.  We are going to be able to hand him the books as he becomes an adult, so he has necessary information together.   Since he is now 18, I have started to weed out some of the documents. He probably doesn't need Explanation of Benefits from bills that were paid 12 years ago.  

Thank you Pam and Pete Wright for teaching us how to organize our book!  Their book, From Emotions to Advocacy, lays it out quite well.  It is a lot of work initially, but it is such a timesaver and lifesaver!  

Because their system made my life easier since S's paperwork was so well organized, I have free time to be on the couch with chocolate.

It wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.

IMAGINE:

Imagine being the parent of a child who has special needs.  This child can’t walk like the other kids.  He can’t run.  Writing is very difficult for him.  Speaking is difficult for him (hard to believe if you have spent time with him).  He has vision issues.  Every task for him is difficult to achieve, but he does it.  Everything he does takes much longer than it does for a child without special needs; his life would be easier if we did these things for him, but it wouldn’t be beneficial for him.  This is a child who could have had reduced assignments given to him in school, but he refused that accommodation as an elementary school age child.

IMAGINE:

Now imagine being the parent of this child as you sit in a school meeting trying to make sure he is receiving his “free and appropriate education” which is mandated by law.  [You haven’t experienced fun until you have had to sit through IEP meetings (sarcasm button).]  Imagine that you ask for some basic accommodations to try to level the educational field in which your child is expected to play and you are told by a school employee or someone from the state that the accommodation you are asking for “wouldn't be fair to the other kids.”  What?????  

You are seriously telling me that asking for my child to have accommodations put in place to access his education won’t be fair to the other kids.  We aren’t asking for anyone to do his work. We aren’t asking for him to be excused from work or tests.  We have already established that he wants to do the same work as the other kids.  We are asking for tools to be put in place for him to do the work and prove that he can do the work.

CALIFORNIA:

S’s second grade class took timed math facts tests.  They had to solve 100 facts correctly in 5 minutes in order to move to the next level.  There was a big bulletin board in the room showing their progression, and it was a BIG deal to have your name moved up to the next level.   They took these tests on Wednesday afternoons.  

Because of S’s CP, his fine motor skills are impacted, and he has functional handwriting which doesn't include writing for a timed test.  He had an aide who came in to write for him during these timed tests.  While the other kids had to write for themselves during the 5 minutes, S had to tell this adult the answers and wait for her to write them during this same time.  If the kids missed any, they had to repeat the same facts the next week.  Getting 99 facts right in 5 minutes was not acceptable!  

There were a couple of weeks that this aide was unable to come into the class during this time; therefore, S was expected to write for himself during the timed math test.  There was no way he was going to pass because he can’t write fast enough to complete 100 problems in 5 minutes.  We asked the teacher if he could have a little more time during tests where he was expected to write for himself, so he could have the satisfaction of passing without anyone writing for him.  “That wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.”  Are you kidding me?????  Forget the fact that he has an IEP that states he gets additional time on work and tests.

VIRGINIA:

Because S has fine motor issues, writing is extremely difficult for him (see above).  To solve math problems, we used graph paper with large squares. We would write the problems out so they were lined up, and he could solve them independently.  This was how he did math.  

We asked for him to use graph paper on his Math SOL (standardized test).  We had to submit the graph paper we wanted him to use.  We also submitted two math samples for S:  1.  One using the graph paper where the problem was solved correctly because his numbers were lined up.  2. One using regular paper where the problem was solved incorrectly because his numbers were all over the place.  

The state of Virginia told us that "it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids" because it was homemade graph paper and not store bought.  

Kudos to our principal for being brave enough to tell me that piece of information face to face. Kudos to me for not completely losing it in the school hallway.  I asked the principal if the state was testing math skills or writing skills.  I told the principal that “those people” need to come and spend one day in school with S to see what it is like for him to get through a school day.  I also asked the school if they could make the graph paper so it wouldn’t be homemade.  The reason we had to make it is he can’t write small enough for the graph paper sold in the stores. If he could write that small, we wouldn’t need it.

VIRGINIA:

Due to the level of his needs, S requires a number of accommodations to level his playing field.  It was extremely frustrating his fifth grade year as we went back and forth with the state trying to get his accommodations in place for the SOL testing that they require.  I remember telling our principal at the time, “We can’t possibly be the first people in the whole state to ever ask for these accommodations.”  His response, “You might very well be.”  He told me that most kids who have required the quantity of accommodations that S does typically don’t have the cognitive functioning that S does. (http://onthecouchwithchocolate.blogspot.com/2014/07/tell-us-little-about-your-son.html)

S is very aware of the challenges his special needs bring to his life.  He also knows he is entitled to accommodations by law.  He isn’t asking for an easy way out.  He is looking for ways to level the playing field for himself so he can be educated and become part of the work force.  The paralympics finds ways to level the playing field for their athletes.  You think society would realize that’s all we want for our son instead of telling us “it’s not fair”.

Is it any wonder I need time on the couch with chocolate (and wine)?