How is S with time management?

S:  I’m doing well with my schoolwork.

Me:  And you should be.  You only have one class.

This was the tail end of a conversation that my son and I were having the other day.  This conversation started when he came downstairs at approximately 1:00 pm to start his day.  The deal we have is that if you are living at home as a young adult you need to be a productive member of society.  Most productive members start their day prior to 1:00.  I know, I know. Some people work the night shift.  He does not!

[Disclaimer:  This post might seem like it is jumping all over the place.  It has felt that way at our house the past few months. Welcome to our world!]

How did we get here?

There are so many things leading up to this point.  S graduated from high school last year and is currently a student at our local community college.  He started last semester with 7 credits, and that was enough for him.  

Fall Semester

A few posts I wrote last semester include:

The day before college starts

I thought you were exaggerating.

Due dates are not optional!

First semester of college is finished!

There is a common theme in these posts and they have to do with time management and organization.  Our son who is attending college with CP and Low Vision is having a challenging time with his ADD at school.

Spring Semester

This challenge is evidenced by his idea of a plan for college which I had to write about early this semester:  “Winging it” is not a plan for college success.”

He started this semester with two classes.  He is now down to one.  He was missing deadlines in one class.  Not only was he turning in work late, it was incomplete and not his best work.  We had to sit down with him and inform him that it was time to drop the one class, so he could salvage his other class.  

Discussions with Vocational Rehab Counselor

A couple of weeks ago we were at the ophthalmologist’s office.  S’s Vocational Rehab Counselor from DBVI joined us for the appointment.  Since we were there for approximately 3 hours, we had plenty of time to visit with her.  She asked S how school was going.  

After he talked around the issue for 5 minutes, I asked, “Did you tell her you dropped a class?”  

“I kind of did.”  

“No, you didn’t.”

She asked S how he was with time management and organization; she proceeded to offer him many suggestions to help himself with both issues.  At one point, she asked him if he has heard all of this from his parents because “I see your parents sitting over there laughing.”  We told her he can continue to hear the same information over and over and over and over because maybe he will try implementing some of these strategies.

We met with his VR counselor again a couple of days later for a meeting.  She asked us in the meeting, “How is S with time management?”  It is nonexistent.  We explained to her EVERYTHING we have suggested to S to help with his time management.  My husband and I are great at reading and researching.  Everything we have read, we have tried with him.  The lists on websites, in books, recommendations from professionals are all things we have tried with him.

The challenge we have now is that S is a young adult.  We can’t make him “do”.  We can’t enable him.  We can suggest.  We can support.  He must be the “doer”.  He must implement strategies and ask for help when needed.

I will be on the couch with chocolate.....

This is a timely post because I just realized that February is Low Vision Awareness month.  Our son was identified as Low Vision right before the start of his senior year (fall of 2014).  The label has actually been a good thing because the Department of Blind and Visually Impaired is providing our son with great services.  We have pondered the question, “Why wasn’t he identified earlier?” although that doesn’t really matter.  We are in the here and now, and he is receiving the care he needs….which brings me to this post.

I have a purse full of glasses.

Yesterday my son and I headed to the optical shop (OS).  We have been customers here for more than 10 years.  They know my family well.

This is how the initial conversation started as we walked in the door.

OS:  How can we help you?

Me:  It’s complicated.

[Now we had everyone’s attention.  It’s an optical shop.  How complicated can it be?  Oh, it was my family.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.]

OS:  Oh, by all means, come to table 2.

We went over there.  It took a little bit to get S maneuvered up on the tall chairs.

OS:  What’s going on?  Didn’t S just get new glasses?

Me:  Why yes.  We just picked them up 3 weeks ago.

OS:  Is there a problem with them?

Me:  No

OS:  What do you need today?

They should have known something was up when I walked through the door with my purse.  I rarely carry a purse.  And, at this point, I started pulling S’s glasses out of my purse….one pair, two pairs, three pairs, four pairs, and five pairs.  Remember, he was wearing a pair also.

Me:  Here’s the situation.  S was referred to an ophthalmologist from his ophthalmologist to discuss a possible eye surgery.  The new ophthalmologist would like to see him again after he has been wearing glasses with no prisms in the lenses.  [S’s glasses have very thick prism lenses in them.  The surgery being discussed would be on his eye muscles and hopefully reduce or eliminate the need for prisms.]  We told the ophthalmologist that we had glasses at home that didn’t have prisms in them.  Unfortunately, they are not the right prescription for him.  Long story short, he needs new lenses.  What is the best option?  Replace lenses in a pair of frames I have with or get new frames and lenses.

This optical shop has always taken good care of us.  We are very good customers (think $$$$). All four people in my household wear glasses or contacts.  Thank goodness we have good vision coverage through my husband’s work; however, we were private paying this pair of glasses.  S’s glasses tend to be expensive because of the high power, prisms, transitions, etc.  It helped that these didn’t require prisms, and we opted to not do transition lenses.  We don’t know what is going to happen - surgery or no surgery, prisms or no prisms.  We are saving our insurance coverage for his permanent pair of glasses once everything is figured out.

The manager of the optical shop clicked around on her computer for a while and presented me with a very reasonable price for frames and lenses.  S hates picking out new frames; however, he picked a frame quickly.  Now we wait and hope that they come in quickly.  

Obviously, since I showed up there with a purse full of glasses, S has glasses that need to be cleaned out of our house his room. We will get in his bedroom and find out how many other pairs of glasses happen to be buried in there.  We will take them to the optical shop so they can be donated through the Lions Eyeglass Recycling Program.

You can find me on the couch with chocolate and my purse and a bag of old glasses ready to be donated while we wait for the call that S’s new glasses have come in.  Enjoy the weekend!

The day before college starts

Here it is!  We made it.  It is the day before college starts.  It has been a process to get to this point. There have been many appointments scheduled, many trips to the college, many assistive technology decisions made, many logistical things that we have had to think through….but it has arrived.  The day before school….

How did we get here?

It has been a process.  We like to tell our son that these are all learning opportunities for him.  I think he’s tired of all of these opportunities.

The following list of blog posts is kind of a picture of what the process has been like the past year.  We started working toward this transition a long time ago, but some things just can’t be done until the end.

6 Steps for Transitioning a Child with Special Needs
When the insurance authorization letter arrives...

Low Vision Diagnosis
We visited the college.

Senior Stress and ADD

Visit with DBVI Vocational Rehab

Get through the wave

Getting ready for college

Ummmm...you don’t know what it’s like

A day at the college

Who knew buying a bag was so difficult?

Stop looking at me!

A Week of College Stuff

College just got real.

Homeschooling was REALLY comfortable!

What have we been doing this week?

This week has been a collaborative effort on our family’s part to make sure that S has everything he needs to be successful.

We have been to campus a number of times in the past week making sure S can get himself around campus.  The challenge he has with his Low Vision is that he can’t see the building names across campus.  He needs to know his exact path to follow to get from A to B.  We have visited campus frequently.  He has wheeled himself around.  We have talked out a path.  We have found landmarks for him to identify.  

Oh...another challenge is that it’s not just a matter of getting to the building and entering a door. He has to find the door that has the handicap accessible button or the door with the ramp.  

One more challenge S has is that he has a horrible sense of direction; however, he is very good with maps and creating a picture in his head.  He has studied the campus map.  We created a campus made of Legos, and he has moved the Lego man around campus and talked about the path.

He has his school supplies.  His supply list is somewhat different than other students.  He has Assistive Technology devices and software to help with his Low Vision and fine motor issues due to Cerebral Palsy.  He is using Zoom Text, Dragon Dictation, and the EmPower program through efofex software (free software for students with special needs to help with math and science equations and graphing) along with:

The Transformer which projects an enlarged image onto his laptop screen.  He has just received this, so he needs some practice with it to see how helpful it will really be.

He received a syllabus already from one teacher with her supplies on it.  We have had to try to figure out exactly what he will need from that list as we look at how he will adapt her requirements to fit his needs.  He has emailed her, and she seems quite receptive to what he has suggested.

S also has ADD which presents a challenge when we are talking about college.  Time management and planning are going to be key in his success.  He likes using Google Calendar and the task list.  He has already entered all of his assignments from the syllabus he has received.  (I won’t tell how long it actually took him to do that task.)

S likes looking at a calendar also.  We have a 4 week calendar on our fridge that he frequently stops by to look at and gets sucked into the “Calendar Zone”.  We purchased a 4 month calendar to hang on the wall near his desk.  J has filled it in for him for this semester and color coded everything for S.

At this point, we believe we have everything in place for S to be successful.  I'm sure we are missing something. I am anxious to talk to him tomorrow afternoon to see how his first day went. As he likes to tell us, “You are more excited about this than I am.”  Maybe...just maybe….

I will be on the couch with chocolate looking forward to seeing how this next chapter in my son’s life plays out!

Getting ready for college

The past week has been quite busy for S as he is checking things off his to-do list for college.  

*As I am writing this, he and my husband are meeting with the Assistive Technology person through DBVI to figure out what assistive technology he will need/use during college.

*S attended New Student Experience (NSE) at the community college the other afternoon.  My husband took him and said there was good information given.

*S paid his tuition the other day, so he is officially registered for Fall semester classes.

*S bought his books for his classes.  Welcome to the reality of college expenses!

*S tried to get his student ID and parking permit, but he can’t do that until July 20.  (He doesn’t drive, but the parking permit fee is already included in his student fees.  If he paid for it, we will get it.)

*At the New Student Experience, S met a lady who runs a program at the college that he is interested in.  He applied to be part of this federally funded program that serves low income, first generation college students, and/or students who have disabilities.

*S purchased his bag for school.  (This might have to be its own post some day.  There is a lot of thought that goes into how he gets things from A to B and how he can maneuver himself to utilize the bag.)

*My husband realized that S needs to be on campus more often prior to classes starting to figure out how to get around.  With his Low Vision, he can’t see the signs on the buildings.  It’s also not just a matter of finding the buildings, he has to find the handicapped accessible doors/ramps into the building.  My husband said they received a really good map at NSE that shows a lot of that information.  S is good with maps.  He just has a poor sense of direction.  He can always ask for help.

*S still needs to get a copy of his schedule to the Disabled Student Services Office. He has already met with them to set up his accommodations for his classes.

It’s been busy at our house!  You will find me on the couch with chocolate and air conditioning.  It has been HOT here this week!

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http://www.lovethatmax.com/

Almost to the end of Senior year!

On the Homefront

You know it's been a crazy week when I start with the homefront first.  Our calendar has looked like a mosaic with all of the different colored boxes overlapping and butting up next to each other.  This week the boys have had 3 medical appointments, 2 meetings, an SOL test, and college placement testing.  This is on top of regularly scheduled activities - horseback riding, youth group, and gymnastics practice.  And, my husband had a church meeting squeezed in there.  My husband and I are tired!

Although it was a crazy, busy week, these were all necessary things that were accomplished. That is always a good feeling.  

We have a fairly relaxed weekend ahead of us, so we are looking forward to that.  We are going to a cookout Saturday evening.  We have 2 invitations for Sunday.  Not sure we will make it to both.  S is volunteering all day Monday.  As long as the weather is nice, my husband, J, and I will hang out at the beach during that time.  Looking forward to that!

The Senior

S has had things on the calendar every day this week - Chiropractor, Social Security meeting, College Placement testing, Youth Group, meeting with DBVI Vocational Rehab counselor, and horseback riding.  

With all of the various agency meetings S has had to attend lately, there have been a lot of discussions at home about his future.  They are always interesting conversations as S’s ADD starts to run rampant.  My husband does a good job of summarizing our conversations in his post, Simple problem solving.

This was a week of getting answers and planning the next steps forward. All of the frustration S has felt in the weeks building up to this point is gone as he sees how it all fit together. He got through the wave. Last night was one of the first nights in a LONG time that we didn't have things we needed to get together or discuss or finish something up. He enjoyed that very much.

The big news this week is that S is done with English!!!!  He has one class to finish up for his senior year - German IV.  As he told me yesterday, “You know, I can sit and do that for hours.”  

He hasn't volunteered all month since he has been working hard to cross things off his to-do list. He will be volunteering for 6 hours on Memorial Day.

Tonight we are going to Busch Gardens to partake in the Food and Wine Festival while J is at practice. J figured S could eat his way through the park tonight and make recommendations for when he is able to go. The Food and Wine Festival is S's favorite activity there!

The Sophomore

J had a busy week also.  He started his week with bloodwork for his allergy testing.  He has ended his week with a 730 appointment with the Pediatric Nephrologist for a follow up for his high blood pressure.  My husband took him to the early appointment.

In between his bookend appointments, he had an SOL History test for school.  He has some projects to work on this weekend.  He finished up a project last weekend and is turning it in today (early) for extra credit.

He only had practice for 4 days this week since his coach was just returning from vacation.  J was glad to be back in the gym although he got a nasty rip the first night of practice this week!

What did I write this week?

Graduation is coming - ready or not!

How much did he cost? and other questions  

After this crazy week, you will find me on the couch (and the beach) with chocolate!

Linking up with:

Graduation is coming - ready or not!

My son is a senior.  My son is almost finished with the school year.  My son is going through commencement on June 13.  My son is not excited about this change.  He isn’t doing a countdown to the end of the year.  He may/may not be trying to prolong some of his work to keep the end from happening; however, it’s coming.

As the end of the school year is rapidly approaching, my son is also having to attend to many different transition areas:

*Meeting with Social Security

*Trying to figure out transportation since his pickup point is too far from our house and it isn’t safe to get there (no sidewalks)

*Teleconferences and meeting with his Vocational Rehab counselor to create an Individualized Employment Plan (There is great stress/anxiety involved with this since he doesn’t know exactly what he wants to do when he grows up.  We tell him it is one step at a time.)

*Placement tests at the community college  

The reality for him is that this is going to happen.  He is more accepting of it, but it doesn’t mean he likes it.  He informed me one afternoon that “growing up sucks!”  Whether or not it does, we tell him repeatedly that it is happening.  Embrace it!

All that being said, Monday was a breakthrough moment for him.  Last Friday he had a teleconference with his Voc Rehab counselor to discuss some ideas for his employment plan which will be developed at a meeting on Thursday.  

[On any given day, his plans for the future change.  He has ADD and is always in “think” mode about his options for the future.  We are okay with that, but the counselor needs something to write down on his plan.  My son’s passion is History, and we have discussed many different career paths for a History major.....]

So, he told his counselor he thought he might go with a Business degree which has been "briefly" discussed before.  

Three days later, on Monday morning, he told me that he spent a lot of time thinking about his future over the weekend and he feels strongly about pursuing a career in History.  I told him that he would need to discuss that with his Voc Rehab counselor at their meeting on Thursday.  

“Oh, I already talked to her.”  

“What?”
“I called her this morning and told her my thoughts.  I explained to her that I really want to do something History related.”

Wow!  I told him I was impressed with him taking control of the situation and contacting her.  

Within 30 minutes of the above conversation, he had talked himself into possibly pursuing an Economics degree.  At that point, I told him he can’t call his counselor every time he changes his mind.  He laughed because he knows how frequently he is doing it.  

Graduation is coming.  He is now looking forward to the festivities involved with it, but he still thinks that growing up sucks.  Gotcha!  It’s happening though.

I will be on the couch with chocolate observing my son as he is getting ready to graduate...and wondering when that little 4 year old boy who came into our lives 14 years ago grew up.

What My Senior Thinks & Testing

The Senior

S has been working to get his last two classes finished.  I won’t say he is working joyfully because he isn’t.

This is what I heard from him on Tuesday…

“I think we should make a deal.”

“I think since I am so close to being finished that you should cut me some slack.”

“I think that I shouldn’t have to write the last essay.”

“I think since you are more excited about me being done than I am that you should just let me be finished.  Then, you can be really excited.”

“I think that I have too much to juggle right now.”

...and the list goes on.  I told him he doesn’t have to finish German IV since that is an elective, but he must finish English 12.  Guess which class he wants to finish and which one he doesn’t?  In addition to everything else he was thinking that day, he thinks I was being ridiculous.

I will say he continued to plug away at his work, so he gets a shout out for that.

***********************************************************************************************************

This was almost an appointment/activity free week for him which gave him a lot of time to get work done.  This was good because he has 3 appointments, youth group, and horseback riding next week.  He needs to talk to transportation also because of his assigned pickup location which isn’t near our house nor is it safe for him to get there (traffic, lack of sidewalks, distance, etc.).  

S has been in frequent contact with the Assistive Technology person at the community college trying to coordinate his accommodations for the placement tests he needs to take.  I have to say that everyone he has emailed at the college has been very quick in their responses.  The AT person has emailed late in the evening and early in the morning.  We were hoping S could get his testing done this week, and he was able to get in to start his English placement test today.  He is there right now.  We are hoping they will waive the Math placement test after they evaluate his request regarding his College Algebra course.  We shall see.  

This afternoon he is doing a telephone conference with his Vocational Rehab counselor prior to their meeting next week.

He did make some graduation party decisions for us which is progress.  Yeah! He knows it is coming.  He has agreed to go to the Senior Meet and Greet which is being held the day before the commencement ceremony.  He also agreed to join the Google group for the graduates.  

The Sophomore

Testing!  That was the word of the week for J and school.  Because it was AP exam week and SOL testing at school, the schedules have been crazy for the kids.  J took his AP History exam yesterday.  He has his Chemistry SOL today.  Next week he will take his History SOL.  Then they will ramp up for finals.

J went to the doctor yesterday to talk about a referral to an allergist.  We talked about if he would be a candidate for allergy shots.  His seasonal allergies are getting worse and he is limited to what he can take due to his high blood pressure.  The doctor has ordered the initial labs for a blood draw; however, J has to wait until Monday since he needs to be off of his allergy medication for at least 3 days.  

He only had practice for 3 days this week because there were other activities at their facility. Since there is no practice tonight, we are heading to Busch Gardens for a little family fun.

On the Homefront

We have accomplished many tasks on our massive to-do lists.  My husband finished sheetrocking the garage for part of my Mother’s Day gift.  It looks very nice out there now. The yard was mowed.  S’s announcements were addressed, stamped, and mailed.  We went to Party City to look at plates, silverware, cups, etc. for the party.  

I have all of the pictures sorted for S’s photo boards.  J is going to finish putting them together this weekend.  There are so many!!  It has been fun looking through the pictures.

What did I write this week?

Take your test scores and….

For some entertaining thoughts from my husband on life with a senior, check out his post - A "Little, Orange" Support Team.  

This weekend you will find me on the couch with chocolate listening to more of my senior's thoughts. Have a good one!

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