A funny thing happened on our trip to Minnesota

Last weekend we were in Minnesota for my nephew’s high school graduation.  It was a quick trip because my youngest son is in school until June 17th!  Yes, you read that correctly.  

It’s always fun to go back.  We make it back to Minnesota at least once a year.  My husband and I are from a rural farm community (translation:  small town).  My husband and I graduated from the same high school that my nephew was graduating from.  My sister and brother-in-law graduated from there.  My husband’s three sisters graduated from there.  My mom taught in this school system.  I have two cousins who teach there.  We have a lot of connections to this town.

We flew in Friday and started on our 2 ½ trip to our hometown.  My sister-in-law picked us up from the airport.  We hit Jamba Juice on the way out of the Cities.  We stopped on our trip to have lunch with my mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law.  During this drive, my sister called and asked if we could come straight to their house to help set up a tent for the graduation party. Sure!

We arrived at their house and asked what we could do to help get ready for the party.  My sister-in-law and I were tasked with taping pictures onto the photo boards.  We were in the house working.  My husband, J, my sister and brother-in-law were outside putting up the tent.  S decided he would walk around their yard and check things out.  My sister and brother-in-law moved into this house about 9 months ago.  Not a problem.

We hadn’t been at their house for 30 minutes when my sister came inside laughing.  As they were outside putting up the tent, a cop pulled up to the house and sat there looking at what was taking place.  My sister walked over to see if he needed anything.  She said he seemed rather embarrassed; at this point, a second cop car pulled up to the house.  They had received a call that they needed to do a welfare check at the house.  Why?  Because S who has CP and uses crutches was walking around outside...by himself.  The horror of this!  

We all laughed at the situation.  S just wanted to know why no one bothered to ask him anything. Again, he was outside at 4:30 pm with 3 other adults and his 17 year old brother.  He looked like he might need some help (I need a sarcasm font here).

This made for a great conversation piece at my nephew’s party.  Everyone there either knows my son or knows of my son.  They know he is a college student.  Not really needing a welfare check. The biggest discussion was, “Which neighbor called the cops?”

The best part of this whole story is it made the police log in the paper!  You have to love small towns.  

I will be on the couch with chocolate...still laughing at this story.

Going to Minnesota is NOT relaxing!

My family just returned from an 11 day road trip to Minnesota the other night.  That trip is approximately 2800 miles round trip on top of the more than 300 additional miles driving around while we were there.  Why would did we do that?  My children have asked us that question many times.  The answer is simple:

He graduated, and we took his party on the road!

Why did we take his party on the road?  Because all of our family members live in Minnesota with the exception of my husband’s niece who came back from Nashville to celebrate with us.  We figured it was easier to get four of us to Minnesota rather than bringing so many people to Virginia.

[I told my children taking a long road trip like that gives them stories to talk about at future gatherings.  “Do you remember when mom and dad made us drive to Minnesota?”  J was writing during the trip because there were some very funny moments to be written down.]

We crammed a lot into our trip.  We took 3 days to get to Minnesota.

 

Pastries from our friend's bakery in Ohio.

My husband celebrating Father's Day in Iowa after two days of traveling.  

We toured the University of Iowa….

and I fell walking during the tour.

Made it to Minnesota!

Minneapolis skyline

We toured the University of Minnesota

We attended a Twins baseball game.

We went to the lake for a day of fun.

We attended a family reunion for my mother-in-law’s family.  It was for her siblings and their families.  There were approximately 100 people there. My husband hadn’t seen some of his cousins in 27 years since we had our wedding.  It was fun to visit with everyone.  The next day was….

The reason for the trip:  The Party

J had a creative moment with crayons and Goldfish crackers.

We drove home in two days...two very LONG days!

West Virginia

The western part of Virginia.  We live on the other side of the state.  We were getting closer!

For the Fourth of July weekend, we are doing nothing.  The boys want to stay home and not get in the van.  You will find me on the couch with chocolate or in the pool, depends what the weather is like.

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Maintaining Birth/Cultural Ties

When I saw the Adoption Link-up topic on Maintaining Birth/Cultural Ties, I thought, "I can write about both situations."  We have two children who were adopted in two completely different scenarios:  an American infant who was born in Germany, placed with us at birth while we lived in Germany, and whose adoption was finalized in Germany and a 4 year old who has special needs adopted from Bulgaria who had been living in an orphanage while we lived in Alabama.

Because my children are older, I really need to make sure I am respecting their privacy in these situations and not crossing boundaries.  These are their stories to tell and not mine.  I make sure I have their permission to share anything that is personal.

Maintaining Birth Ties

We are not against maintaining birth ties with J's family.  We have maintained contact with his birth mother from the beginning of our relationship with her.  We send letters and photos twice a year.

Because of social media, it is easier to have contact with extended family in both directions; however, we (my husband and I) discuss this with J since he is an older teen. He is never asked to do anything that makes him uncomfortable, and we wouldn't pursue or share anything that would make him uncomfortable.  That's about all I can say in order to respect my son's privacy.

[As a side note, it is a different world now than when J first came home.  Social media was nonexistent. We didn't have cell phones with cameras.  We couldn’t Facetime or Skype with family. We had to take pictures on the camera with film, run to the express photo shop, and head over to the post office to mail pictures back to the United States.  It is much easier for people to find information/pictures about our children.]

Maintaining Cultural Ties

When S was young, we talked about Bulgarian traditions.  We learned some Bulgarian (We spoke Bulgarish).  We bought children's books that are written in Bulgarian. We took a lot of pictures while we were there.  We have Bulgarian photos/crafts that are displayed proudly in our house and other family member's homes.  

That being said, he is older now (a young adult actually). He is quite adamant about "That is in the past.  I live here now.  I am an American."  Have I mentioned before that he is strong willed?

Where their stories started

Since  both of my boys were born in Europe, we would love to go and visit Germany and Bulgaria.  J would love to go to Germany.  S would love to go to Germany also, but he has informed us that he has no desire to go to Bulgaria.  I really hope he changes his mind because Bulgaria is a beautiful country.  It is where his story begins.

I will be on the couch with chocolate watching their stories unfold.

Celebrating Adoption Day

We recently celebrated my youngest son's Adoption Day.  Sixteen years ago a German judge signed the adoption decree making our son's adoption final.  The crazy part is we didn’t even realize it had been done until we happened to check our German mailbox.  J’s birthmother, my husband, and I had all signed the paperwork weeks earlier.

Even though J had been with us since birth, it was very exciting to get the paperwork that made J a legal family member.  It meant a trip to Frankfurt to the Consulate to get his name changed on his passport.  We also had to apply for a new Certificate of Birth Abroad from the Consulate with his new last name.  We had to get a new German birth certificate with his new last name.  This child has MANY different birth certificates.  

How did we celebrate?

Because our family schedule is beyond crazy right now, J's celebration took place over multiple days rather than just on his day.  We had crepes for breakfast one morning.  We had delicious chocolate cupcakes with chocolate fudge frosting one night for dessert.  We enjoyed time as a family hanging out and playing games.

You will find me on the couch with chocolate enjoying time with my family.  

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Not quite finished...

The Senior

Life is pretty chill for S at this point in his life.  He is working on finishing up German IV, and he will then be finished with his high school career.  Fourteen years of school (7 1/2 years being homeschooled) will be wrapped up when that course is finished!  [I am just now realizing that he has been homeschooled longer than he attended public school.  Wow!]

The fact that he is graduating has become real to him.  He is accepting this reality (especially since graduation cards and gifts are starting to arrive in the mail).

Things are falling into place for him.  We are getting answers about his transportation dilemma - not necessarily helpful answers to fix the issue but answers nonetheless.  These answers along with some additional information allow us to contact other agencies to try to work out transportation.  We have a friend who has offered to drive S to school one day/week next year if need be.

S is still waiting to hear from the community college about whether or not he needs to take the Math placement test. His transcript for College Algebra was sent to the school and the tracking number shows that it was delivered on May 11. He was told last week that they hadn't seen it. He emailed them with all of the details. Still waiting....

S is going to continue volunteering at the museum this summer.  He has the opportunity to job shadow the Historian there.  He has also contacted another museum about some learning opportunities there.  These items have been done by him - he took the initiative.

It will all work out!  We just keep reminding ourselves and S of  that.

Last weekend S ate his way through the Food and Wine Festival at Busch Gardens.  Oh my word! He didn't make it to a couple of food stands, so he knows we need to go back so he can finish up.

He volunteered for 6 hours on Memorial Day and said they were busy at the museum.  He has horseback riding this morning, and we are heading out of town this afternoon for a friend’s graduation.

The Sophomore

J has had a crazy week again.  Last Friday he had a nephrology appointment for his blood pressure.  Turns out he needed blood work for this appointment, and he needed to be fasting. We didn't know that prior to his appointment.  

Tuesday morning he was back at the lab for a blood draw prior to going to school.  The challenge for J to fast is that he is starving after practice, so he had to go in on a morning when he didn't have practice the day before.  

Tuesday afternoon J had an Orthodontics appointment.  It was his final check before he is scheduled to get his braces off June 1.  The orthodontist said words J did not want to hear, "We will see on Monday.  There is still a small gap here that should really be closed up first." We are praying that he can get them off on Monday.  He has had them on almost 3 years, and he has been diligent about doing everything the orthodontist has asked of him.

J has a Spanish project due next week, but he finished most of it last weekend.  He had to stay after yesterday to make up a Math test that he missed because he was attending the Magnet program awards ceremony on Tuesday when the test was given.

We are trying to coordinate J's behind the wheel instruction so he can get his license.  He is ready.  He went up to our vet clinic and told them he would like to volunteer up there this summer.  Hopefully, that will all work out.  Our neighbor boy did that when he was in high school, and he is now applying to vet school.

J had practice 10.5 hours this week (no practice on Memorial Day and he will be traveling tonight).

On the Homefront

Things are crazy at our house, and I don't think that is going to change until after graduation and  our trip to Minnesota.  We are leaving for South Carolina this afternoon to celebrate with a family friend as she graduates this weekend.  She texted us last month and said, "I need my peeps!"  It will be a quick trip, but it will be fun.

While S volunteered on Monday, my husband, J and I spent time at the beach.  Love going to the beach!  

My husband started working on S's slideshow for graduation.  We finalized S's food choices for his party.  We still need to buy plates, napkins, silverware, etc.  My sister-in-law has purchased 15 boxes of Cheesecake bites from Trader Joe's for one of the dessert choices. They are delicious!

We finalized our trip plans last weekend and made hotel reservations.  We shifted a few things around.  We are visiting the University of Iowa on the front end of our trip rather than on the way home.  J is also going to visit the University of Minnesota.  It will be time for our trip before we know it.  Hopefully the drive will go by as quickly!  The last time we drove to Minnesota the boys were 4 and 2.  A parent at gymnastics practice the other night said, “The drive should be so much better now that they are older.”  One would think so…..

What did I write this week?

My son is not a quitter.

You will find me on the couch with chocolate after our trip to South Carolina.

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What My Senior Thinks & Testing

The Senior

S has been working to get his last two classes finished.  I won’t say he is working joyfully because he isn’t.

This is what I heard from him on Tuesday…

“I think we should make a deal.”

“I think since I am so close to being finished that you should cut me some slack.”

“I think that I shouldn’t have to write the last essay.”

“I think since you are more excited about me being done than I am that you should just let me be finished.  Then, you can be really excited.”

“I think that I have too much to juggle right now.”

...and the list goes on.  I told him he doesn’t have to finish German IV since that is an elective, but he must finish English 12.  Guess which class he wants to finish and which one he doesn’t?  In addition to everything else he was thinking that day, he thinks I was being ridiculous.

I will say he continued to plug away at his work, so he gets a shout out for that.

***********************************************************************************************************

This was almost an appointment/activity free week for him which gave him a lot of time to get work done.  This was good because he has 3 appointments, youth group, and horseback riding next week.  He needs to talk to transportation also because of his assigned pickup location which isn’t near our house nor is it safe for him to get there (traffic, lack of sidewalks, distance, etc.).  

S has been in frequent contact with the Assistive Technology person at the community college trying to coordinate his accommodations for the placement tests he needs to take.  I have to say that everyone he has emailed at the college has been very quick in their responses.  The AT person has emailed late in the evening and early in the morning.  We were hoping S could get his testing done this week, and he was able to get in to start his English placement test today.  He is there right now.  We are hoping they will waive the Math placement test after they evaluate his request regarding his College Algebra course.  We shall see.  

This afternoon he is doing a telephone conference with his Vocational Rehab counselor prior to their meeting next week.

He did make some graduation party decisions for us which is progress.  Yeah! He knows it is coming.  He has agreed to go to the Senior Meet and Greet which is being held the day before the commencement ceremony.  He also agreed to join the Google group for the graduates.  

The Sophomore

Testing!  That was the word of the week for J and school.  Because it was AP exam week and SOL testing at school, the schedules have been crazy for the kids.  J took his AP History exam yesterday.  He has his Chemistry SOL today.  Next week he will take his History SOL.  Then they will ramp up for finals.

J went to the doctor yesterday to talk about a referral to an allergist.  We talked about if he would be a candidate for allergy shots.  His seasonal allergies are getting worse and he is limited to what he can take due to his high blood pressure.  The doctor has ordered the initial labs for a blood draw; however, J has to wait until Monday since he needs to be off of his allergy medication for at least 3 days.  

He only had practice for 3 days this week because there were other activities at their facility. Since there is no practice tonight, we are heading to Busch Gardens for a little family fun.

On the Homefront

We have accomplished many tasks on our massive to-do lists.  My husband finished sheetrocking the garage for part of my Mother’s Day gift.  It looks very nice out there now. The yard was mowed.  S’s announcements were addressed, stamped, and mailed.  We went to Party City to look at plates, silverware, cups, etc. for the party.  

I have all of the pictures sorted for S’s photo boards.  J is going to finish putting them together this weekend.  There are so many!!  It has been fun looking through the pictures.

What did I write this week?

Take your test scores and….

For some entertaining thoughts from my husband on life with a senior, check out his post - A "Little, Orange" Support Team.  

This weekend you will find me on the couch with chocolate listening to more of my senior's thoughts. Have a good one!

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We spoke "Bulgarish".

We adopted S from Bulgaria at the age of 4.  He was a very verbal child; however, he spoke Bulgarian and we spoke English.  To help with the transition, we learned some Bulgarian before he came home.  We purchased a CD that another adoptive family had put together that included helpful phrases:  I am your mom, I am your dad, I love you, Give me a kiss, We are going on an airplane, Don’t do that, etc.

Transitioning Language

We talk about the transition period for all of us as the time we spoke “Bulgarish”.  He spoke Bulgarian with a little bit of English mixed in.  We spoke English with a little Bulgarian mixed in. He would use Bulgarian verbs but add “ing” to his words.  We would speak in English but throw in Bulgarian words for “boy”, “girl”, “bath”, “bathroom”, “milk”, etc.

Fun Stories

It worked for us.  The first time we took S shoe shopping he wanted a pair of sandals; however, they were pink.  He has always been strong-willed, and he let us know that the pink sandals were the pair of shoes he wanted.  We stood in the middle of the store explaining to him in “Bulgarish” that pink sandals are usually for girls using the Bulgarian word for “girl”.  He finally understood and opted for a pair of brown sandals.

Then, there is the time S saw the pediatric neurologist at the Developmental Clinic.  The doctor was asking him if he was a boy or a girl.  S just repeated the English words he was hearing, so he usually told the doctor he was a girl since that was the last word he heard.  I had to go across the room and ask him if he was a boy or girl using the Bulgarian words for “boy” and “girl” mixed in with English since I couldn’t put a complete sentence together in Bulgarian.  He answered appropriately.  The doctor was convinced since S didn’t even hesitate when he was asked.

This is the same doctor who was asking him his colors by showing him colored blocks.  S was responding with phrases like, “Red bird”,  “blue horse”, “purple cat”.  The neurologist was looking a little concerned at this point.  The developmental pediatrician turned to us and asked us if we read Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? a lot at our house.  When we told her yes, she told the neurologist that S was just fine.

S picked up English very quickly.  He has always had a lot to say and continues to have a lot to say.  

While S is talking, I will be on the couch with chocolate.

Transitioning Mom

Conversation with J this fall:

"Are you excited that S is going to be done with school this year?"

"Yes."

"What are you going to do?"

Hmmm…

I don't know for sure.  What I do know is that my job as mom doesn't stop just because he's graduating, but I will no longer be an active homeschooling mom at that point.  

S's first year at college will be a transition for all of us, but my job at that point is to continue to guide him into independence since he wants to transfer to a 4 year college either in Virginia or in Minnesota.  

What might I do?????

Once upon a time, I used to be a special education teacher (my degree is in Education of the Deaf/Hard of Hearing).  I quit working outside the home when we started our family.  I loved what I did, but I have no desire to go back into teaching.

1.  The education system is very different now than it was when I taught.

2.  Having had to sit on the other side of the table during special education meetings was enlightening.  I don't want to be part of the system that parents are battling just trying to get their children an education.

If not teaching, then what?

I interpreted one year, and I loved it.  I have thought about doing that.  It will require some refresher courses and some practice.  I have lost some of my fluency.  

I'm also a big fan of advocacy.  As I am on this side of my child's journey, I find myself able to help parents just starting out.  I love to answer questions and direct them to helpful resources. I love to see parents stick up for what their children need.

I might volunteer to see what I want to do.  There are a number of opportunities available in our area.

Here's what I do know....

Although I may not know what I want to be when I grow up, my life is going to change.  I'm looking forward to new opportunities.  S will graduate and start college.  We are excited to see what he is going to do with his life.  J is going to get his license this summer which will mean my husband and I won't have to drive him to/from practice 5 days/week.  At the time S finishes his 2 years at community college and prepares to transfer to a 4 year college, J will graduate from high school and go to college.  Life is going to be very different at our house in the next 3 years.  

At this point, S is one month out from being done with high school.  It is coming quickly!  For now, I will sit on the couch with chocolate and my teenagers while I still can.

A Mixed Up Kind of Week

This has been a mixed up kind of week. We had school things that we celebrated. We had an event that made us sad.

The Senior

S finished up his College Algebra course this week!  He applied for ACE credit for the course, and it was approved within hours.  Yeah!  Now, he needs to work on coordinating accommodations for his placement tests at the community college.  He is hoping to have the tests taken in the next couple of weeks, so he can register for his Fall classes.

He has two classes remaining:  German IV and English.  He is continuing with his literature study on To Kill a Mockingbird.  He is enjoying the book. The end is rapidly approaching.

S had a Chiropractor appointment on Monday, Youth Group on Wednesday, and horseback riding this morning.  He will volunteer 4 hours tomorrow.

The Sophomore

J had a busy week at school.  He received his report card the other day and was quite pleased with his grades.  That’s always a good thing.

He had 14 hours of practice this week.  He stayed home one night.

On the Homefront

We had our family pictures last weekend.  We ended up moving them up to Saturday instead of Sunday because of weather.  We thought we had the clothing thing all figured out, but that became a comedy of errors.  We were going to wear black shirts with tan shorts/pants.  

*Does everyone have a black shirt?  My husband didn’t.  We bought him one.

*Realized J’s black shirt had streaks all through it.  Not sure why.  Had to run and buy him a new one Friday night.

*J came down in his tan shorts Saturday.  Are you wearing those?  Yes.  No, you aren’t. They have black paint on them from Art class.  None of his other tan shorts were clean. Washed shorts quickly.

*S had to volunteer prior to pictures, so we sent him in his tan shorts and told him we would bring his shirt to change into.  We did bring another pair of shorts just in case. No problems there.

*My husband went to get his shorts.  Apparently, we should have checked them earlier. They were quite wrinkled.  They were thrown into the dryer quickly.

* I got ready, walked past my husband and J, and they both asked me why I had blood on my pants behind my knee.  I had nicked the back of my leg shaving, and it bled through my pants.  We were walking out the door at this point.  I just said that we couldn’t have pictures of our backs.

The session itself went fine.  Our photographer is a friend from church, so we had a lot of fun. S even survived.  He didn’t want to be there.  As he told me, “You can just photoshop me in.”

We found out this week that a pastor from our church and his family are moving this summer. They will be greatly missed.  They both did a lot with our Youth group.  They were also friends of our family.  I have taken over one of the fundraising activities, and my husband is going to become a youth leader.  

My husband and I are going for a couples massage this afternoon.  We try to go every month, but sometimes it is every two months.  It will be a good way to end this week.  My husband is traveling for 4 days next week, so he could probably use one next Friday too.

Good-bye Spotz

When my boys were 3 and 5, we added Spotz to our family.  We couldn’t have had a more perfect dog for our family.  He came for a weekend trial when he was 1 to make sure he would be good with young kids, and he never left.  He was part of our family for almost 13 years. This week we had to say good-bye to him.

What did I write this week?

Because April is the Month of the Military Child, I wrote: I need my peeps!

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