A funny thing happened on our trip to Minnesota

Last weekend we were in Minnesota for my nephew’s high school graduation.  It was a quick trip because my youngest son is in school until June 17th!  Yes, you read that correctly.  

It’s always fun to go back.  We make it back to Minnesota at least once a year.  My husband and I are from a rural farm community (translation:  small town).  My husband and I graduated from the same high school that my nephew was graduating from.  My sister and brother-in-law graduated from there.  My husband’s three sisters graduated from there.  My mom taught in this school system.  I have two cousins who teach there.  We have a lot of connections to this town.

We flew in Friday and started on our 2 ½ trip to our hometown.  My sister-in-law picked us up from the airport.  We hit Jamba Juice on the way out of the Cities.  We stopped on our trip to have lunch with my mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law.  During this drive, my sister called and asked if we could come straight to their house to help set up a tent for the graduation party. Sure!

We arrived at their house and asked what we could do to help get ready for the party.  My sister-in-law and I were tasked with taping pictures onto the photo boards.  We were in the house working.  My husband, J, my sister and brother-in-law were outside putting up the tent.  S decided he would walk around their yard and check things out.  My sister and brother-in-law moved into this house about 9 months ago.  Not a problem.

We hadn’t been at their house for 30 minutes when my sister came inside laughing.  As they were outside putting up the tent, a cop pulled up to the house and sat there looking at what was taking place.  My sister walked over to see if he needed anything.  She said he seemed rather embarrassed; at this point, a second cop car pulled up to the house.  They had received a call that they needed to do a welfare check at the house.  Why?  Because S who has CP and uses crutches was walking around outside...by himself.  The horror of this!  

We all laughed at the situation.  S just wanted to know why no one bothered to ask him anything. Again, he was outside at 4:30 pm with 3 other adults and his 17 year old brother.  He looked like he might need some help (I need a sarcasm font here).

This made for a great conversation piece at my nephew’s party.  Everyone there either knows my son or knows of my son.  They know he is a college student.  Not really needing a welfare check. The biggest discussion was, “Which neighbor called the cops?”

The best part of this whole story is it made the police log in the paper!  You have to love small towns.  

I will be on the couch with chocolate...still laughing at this story.

What my son has learned - the first year of college

S has officially made it through the first year of college!!!!!!  It has been quite the experience for him…..and us.  He has received an education and MANY learning opportunities.  There have been “growing pains”.

He has grown up this past year.  He has always been an advocate for himself, but he really stepped up to the plate at college.  He has addressed many issues on campus regarding accessibility, and he presented at a workshop regarding accessibility as a student (just realized I never wrote about that).  He has learned that college isn’t cheap and that textbooks are ridiculously priced!  

He has learned that his parents have been trying to prepare him for the reality of college throughout the years (schedules, due dates, task management).  He has also learned that he is weak in some most of these areas.

He has learned that he does well with an online format.  Despite the fact that he’s not a morning person, he learned that he prefers morning classes over afternoon classes.  He has learned that self-paced isn’t necessarily as great as it sounds.  He has learned that due dates are real.

I think my son’s biggest lesson learned this year is that he CAN do this.  He has done well.  We encouraged him to start with a lighter load this year to get used to everything. He will be taking two classes during summer school which is on an accelerated cycle. For fall semester, he has currently scheduled three classes for himself.  He can do it.  He just needs to remember that.

He has learned that he has a huge support system in place. He has learned that we all want him to be the best that he can be.

Here is a recap of posts I wrote during S’s first year of school:

Ummmm...You don't know what it's like.

College just got real!

Homeschooling was REALLY comfortable!

The first week of college

What are the other kids doing?

I thought you were exaggerating.

Did you ever think…?

Due dates are not optional!

First semester of college is finished!

“Winging it” is not a plan for success.

How is S with time management?

I will be on the couch with chocolate celebrating this successful first year and remembering all of the lessons learned.  

This is a timely post because I just realized that February is Low Vision Awareness month.  Our son was identified as Low Vision right before the start of his senior year (fall of 2014).  The label has actually been a good thing because the Department of Blind and Visually Impaired is providing our son with great services.  We have pondered the question, “Why wasn’t he identified earlier?” although that doesn’t really matter.  We are in the here and now, and he is receiving the care he needs….which brings me to this post.

I have a purse full of glasses.

Yesterday my son and I headed to the optical shop (OS).  We have been customers here for more than 10 years.  They know my family well.

This is how the initial conversation started as we walked in the door.

OS:  How can we help you?

Me:  It’s complicated.

[Now we had everyone’s attention.  It’s an optical shop.  How complicated can it be?  Oh, it was my family.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.]

OS:  Oh, by all means, come to table 2.

We went over there.  It took a little bit to get S maneuvered up on the tall chairs.

OS:  What’s going on?  Didn’t S just get new glasses?

Me:  Why yes.  We just picked them up 3 weeks ago.

OS:  Is there a problem with them?

Me:  No

OS:  What do you need today?

They should have known something was up when I walked through the door with my purse.  I rarely carry a purse.  And, at this point, I started pulling S’s glasses out of my purse….one pair, two pairs, three pairs, four pairs, and five pairs.  Remember, he was wearing a pair also.

Me:  Here’s the situation.  S was referred to an ophthalmologist from his ophthalmologist to discuss a possible eye surgery.  The new ophthalmologist would like to see him again after he has been wearing glasses with no prisms in the lenses.  [S’s glasses have very thick prism lenses in them.  The surgery being discussed would be on his eye muscles and hopefully reduce or eliminate the need for prisms.]  We told the ophthalmologist that we had glasses at home that didn’t have prisms in them.  Unfortunately, they are not the right prescription for him.  Long story short, he needs new lenses.  What is the best option?  Replace lenses in a pair of frames I have with or get new frames and lenses.

This optical shop has always taken good care of us.  We are very good customers (think $$$$). All four people in my household wear glasses or contacts.  Thank goodness we have good vision coverage through my husband’s work; however, we were private paying this pair of glasses.  S’s glasses tend to be expensive because of the high power, prisms, transitions, etc.  It helped that these didn’t require prisms, and we opted to not do transition lenses.  We don’t know what is going to happen - surgery or no surgery, prisms or no prisms.  We are saving our insurance coverage for his permanent pair of glasses once everything is figured out.

The manager of the optical shop clicked around on her computer for a while and presented me with a very reasonable price for frames and lenses.  S hates picking out new frames; however, he picked a frame quickly.  Now we wait and hope that they come in quickly.  

Obviously, since I showed up there with a purse full of glasses, S has glasses that need to be cleaned out of our house his room. We will get in his bedroom and find out how many other pairs of glasses happen to be buried in there.  We will take them to the optical shop so they can be donated through the Lions Eyeglass Recycling Program.

You can find me on the couch with chocolate and my purse and a bag of old glasses ready to be donated while we wait for the call that S’s new glasses have come in.  Enjoy the weekend!

First semester of college is finished!

Today is the last day of my son’s first semester of college.  It has been an educational semester to say the least.  Okay, I will be honest.  It has been a challenge.  

When the semester first started, I wrote some posts about my son’s ADD and college.  I didn’t post what I wrote as I tried to figure out new boundaries for myself and my son; what I can write about and what I can’t.  I have been off the grid for a while trying to figure this out.

However, today is cause for celebration.  S made it through the semester.  It hasn’t been easy. He has worked EXTREMELY hard.  He has studied a lot.  

My son attends college as a student with three identified disabilities:  Cerebral Palsy - Spastic Quadriplegia, Low Vision, and ADD.  He had accommodations in place before the semester started.  His professors have been awesome about working with him so he could be successful. His biggest challenges came from his ADD:  organization skills,  time management, creating and executing a plan, and prioritizing tasks.

I have so many scenarios I could write about showcasing his challenges, but I haven’t.  Today’s scenario kind of wraps it all up.  

For his last final, my son had to write a final essay (500-750 words) to be turned in at 1:30 today. We planned on leaving at 12:30.  He had to write a final analysis of his writing throughout the semester for his English class.  They have had the opportunity to do extra credit related to this final project after each essay.  He has done that.  He was setting himself up for success.  He created a study plan to get himself through finals.  He knew what needed to be done to keep himself on track.  That train derailed early on…..

Last night, he was typing his essay.  We recommended that he finish it last night so he could sleep in today.  I will skip all of the boring details.  Here was what happened.

Today’s schedule:

2:30 AM:  S came upstairs kicking each step on the way which woke me up.  He informed me he wasn’t finished.

7:30 AM:  S woke up to finish writing.

9:00 AM:  Told me he was almost finished

11:00 AM:  Thought he was done.  Not sure on his word count.  Checked it.  He had 305 words.  Better write some a lot more.

11:30 AM:  Had 490 words.  Wrote one more sentence to push it to 504.

12:27 PM:  Printed paper.  Couldn’t find his phone.  Needed a backpack to put his paper in.  Needed a pencil.

1:40 PM:  I received a text from him that his paper was turned in.

At the end of the day (or semester), he finished. He made it through.  Next semester needs to be different.  He knows what areas he really needs to work on to help himself get through school and life a little easier.

I will be on the couch with chocolate and wine.  I think my husband may join me on the couch with a beer. Enjoy your weekend! We will.

What are you going to do with all of your new free time?

When I was homeschooling S, I was once asked by a family member, “What do you do all day?” The whole exchange was blog worthy.  In fact, it was my first blog post and explains the name of my blog.

Now that S has graduated from high school I am often asked, “What are you going to do with all of your new free time?”  It is a valid question.  At a minimum, it implies I was doing something.  I homeschooled S for 7 years, so it would seem reasonable that I would have free time now that I don’t have that responsibility.  

Along with S graduating and relieving me of my teaching, J received his driver’s license this summer.  All of the hours and miles we have spent driving him to/from gymnastics practice are behind us.  He can now drive himself; however, we drive on Tuesdays to help out a friend whose young son wouldn’t be able to get to practice otherwise.  

What are you going to do?

I have been asked if I am going to get a job.  I have been asked if I am going to go back to school to pursue further education.  I was a teacher in my life before we had kids.  I have been asked if I am going to interpret again.

My answer was and continues to be, “I don’t know.  I will wait to see how everything plays out.”  I have looked at various options and different opportunities for myself.

In April, I wrote a blog post about Transitioning Mom.  I wasn’t too far off in my thoughts at that time.

Here’s the reality of my new free time

S does not drive.  He commutes to campus 4 days/week.  We are out of zone for bus service for him.  You see where this is going….

Four days a week,  I am driving him to/from campus.  His schedule changes day by day depending if he has tutoring or is meeting with his professors or needs time in the library.  One day one of his classes met in a campus building that was far enough from the main campus that I had to go pick S up to take him to that building for a 50 minute class.  Just enough time to run to Starbucks and come back to wait.

Yesterday I logged 124 miles taking S to an appointment, driving to/from campus, taking J to/from practice, and I squeezed back to school night in there.  Did I forget to mention that my husband is traveling for work this week?

Anyway,

my new free time is kind of nonexistent.  It is different.  My responsibilities have shifted.  It is a new season of life.  

I will enjoy where I am at in my life while I am on the couch with chocolate!

Did you ever think....?

“Did you ever think when you brought me home from Bulgaria that one day you would be driving me to college?”

This is the question my son asked me the other morning on our drive to campus. Hmmm…..It is a valid question.  Fourteen years ago S came home from Bulgaria.  At the time, we knew he had Cerebral Palsy.  He has since added the labels ADD and Low Vision to his medical resume.  

What were our expectations of the 4 year old who came into our lives?  Was it college?  I don’t know that college was the expectation; however, we did think of it as a possibility.  It’s hard to gauge what any 4 year old is going to do in 14 years, especially one who speaks a different language than everyone else in the family.

We just knew that we wanted every possible opportunity made available to him, so he would be prepared for whatever path he desired - college, technical education, work, etc.  In order for college to be a possibility, he needed to be pushed academically.

We have been blessed along his educational journey with mostly positive experiences and some negative experiences.  All of them have provided us with learning opportunities.  What works for S and what doesn’t work.  What are his abilities?  What are his strengths?  What are his weaknesses?

Attending college was the option he picked.  Not only is he attending, he is doing well.  He has learned a lot about himself in the 4 weeks he has been attending class.  We are seeing him take ownership of his learning (hallelujah!).  He is self-advocating.  He is meeting with his professors and creating personal relationships with them.  He asks for help when he needs it.

The answer to his question would be, “We just wanted you to do what you wanted to be happy.” 

The better question would probably have been, “Can you believe you are the parents of a college student?”  

I will be on the couch with chocolate trying to figure out how my kids are getting older while I am not.  Have a great weekend!

What are the other kids doing?

"What are the other kids doing?"  This question has often been asked by S since he started PreK. He always wanted to do what the other kids were doing whether it was work, play, or activities.  

When he realized that a reduced work load was an accommodation being discussed in an IEP meeting, he was adamant that he was not having that. 

"What are the other kids doing? That is what I will do."

As he became older, he realized that he did do what the other kids were doing. He may have done it differently or it may have taken longer, but he did it.

Last year as we talked about S going to college we discussed the fact that he might have to start with a lighter load. "What? Is that what the other kids do when they start college?"  Some might.

We spent a lot of time talking about the pace of a college class, the work load, and the fact that we wanted him to be successful not frazzled. He did agree to start with 7 credits: Statistics, English Composition, and College Success Skills.

Two weeks into the semester and he understands why we wanted him to start with a lighter load.

1.  He has already decided that there is no way he can take 12 credits next semester.

2.  He has realized that he prefers morning class over afternoon class. He is not a morning person but he has realized the benefit of getting up and starting his day.

3.  He fully gets why he needs to stay on top of his homework, especially statistics.

"All I do is math homework." 

Yep. Welcome to college.

4.  He has also realized that he doesn't want to do what the other kids are doing which is not doing their homework. We keep telling him that all of his hard work now will pay off later (I hope that comes true).  

You will find me on the couch with chocolate and some wine as we help S study Statistics. There will be a celebration at our house when that class is finished!

(I managed to write this entire post on my phone while waiting to pick S up from his class.)

The first week of college

My son started college this week.  This is a BIG deal at our house.  S has worked very hard to get to this point in his life.  He hasn’t done this alone.  We haven’t done this alone.  It has taken a village to get our son here.  In the post, “I have been successful”, my son writes about the help he has received from others.  It has truly been a group effort.

Let me tell you about this week.

The day before college starts

This post talks about all we have done this past year to get to this point.  It has been a lot of work, but we made it to the day before.

The first day of classes

I dropped my son off before his morning class.  His last words to me were, “Pray for me.”  Oh, I have been...a lot.

The second day of classes

Today was just one class, English.  My son had already had contact with the professor.  He said this classroom is smaller than the other classrooms he is in, so there are challenges maneuvering himself to the front of the room.  Other students helped get the table where he needed it.  The helpfulness of others has been a true blessing!

This weekend

This weekend we will be helping S get himself organized.  This is a challenge for him, but he is motivated.  He already has his new digital recorder.  He has purchased new Dragon software for himself (appreciate the student discount).  He needed the Premium version which is supposed to transcribe his recorded lectures.  Can we get a Hallelujah for that?  Technology is a wonderful thing!!

In addition to starting classes, my son also had a dental appointment and a chiropractor appointment.  Fun, fun, fun!

Next week should be a routine week of classes for him.  My friend who has offered to help with transportation has already asked about next week.  I told her we need one full week to really work through the logistics of everything - timing for drop off/pick up, tutoring schedules, additional meetings, and which parking spaces are the best options for S to get himself to class.  We had some issues with Thursday’s parking spaces and the path that a wheelchair is expected to get through and around.  S decided he would rather wheel himself for a longer distance than have the closer route.

This weekend will be spent on the couch with chocolate enjoying my son's successful week!

The first day of classes

I dropped my son off before his morning class.  His last words to me were, “Pray for me.”  Oh, I have been...a lot.  I put that on Facebook, so S had many prayer warriors praying for him.

It was a pretty awesome moment to see him take his first “step” (I should say roll) into this new chapter of his life.

I was allowed to take a picture at home but not at school.  

His first day went well.  He didn't get lost. He ran into a student he attended co-op with a couple of years ago, and this kind young man made sure S got to the right classroom for Statistics.

He said the worst part of the day was just trying to get everything back into his bag.  His pencil fell on the floor.  His audio recorder fell on the floor and the batteries fell out.  When his dad went to show him that the file was still on the recorder, dad deleted the file.  Oops!  (Dad is buying him a new recorder tonight.) Packing his bag up has always been a challenge for him. It will get faster and easier with practice.

He talked to his teachers about his accommodations. He went to the Tutoring Center and is set up to start Statistics tutoring next week. He met up with the Assistive Technology Coordinator in one of the buildings, and this very helpful man made sure everything was set up in the classroom for S.  

He is working on his homework as I am typing this. We are thankful Day 1 was successful. Tomorrow is just English class. Hoping for another successful day!

You will find me on the couch with chocolate celebrating the successes in life!

The day before college starts

Here it is!  We made it.  It is the day before college starts.  It has been a process to get to this point. There have been many appointments scheduled, many trips to the college, many assistive technology decisions made, many logistical things that we have had to think through….but it has arrived.  The day before school….

How did we get here?

It has been a process.  We like to tell our son that these are all learning opportunities for him.  I think he’s tired of all of these opportunities.

The following list of blog posts is kind of a picture of what the process has been like the past year.  We started working toward this transition a long time ago, but some things just can’t be done until the end.

6 Steps for Transitioning a Child with Special Needs
When the insurance authorization letter arrives...

Low Vision Diagnosis
We visited the college.

Senior Stress and ADD

Visit with DBVI Vocational Rehab

Get through the wave

Getting ready for college

Ummmm...you don’t know what it’s like

A day at the college

Who knew buying a bag was so difficult?

Stop looking at me!

A Week of College Stuff

College just got real.

Homeschooling was REALLY comfortable!

What have we been doing this week?

This week has been a collaborative effort on our family’s part to make sure that S has everything he needs to be successful.

We have been to campus a number of times in the past week making sure S can get himself around campus.  The challenge he has with his Low Vision is that he can’t see the building names across campus.  He needs to know his exact path to follow to get from A to B.  We have visited campus frequently.  He has wheeled himself around.  We have talked out a path.  We have found landmarks for him to identify.  

Oh...another challenge is that it’s not just a matter of getting to the building and entering a door. He has to find the door that has the handicap accessible button or the door with the ramp.  

One more challenge S has is that he has a horrible sense of direction; however, he is very good with maps and creating a picture in his head.  He has studied the campus map.  We created a campus made of Legos, and he has moved the Lego man around campus and talked about the path.

He has his school supplies.  His supply list is somewhat different than other students.  He has Assistive Technology devices and software to help with his Low Vision and fine motor issues due to Cerebral Palsy.  He is using Zoom Text, Dragon Dictation, and the EmPower program through efofex software (free software for students with special needs to help with math and science equations and graphing) along with:

The Transformer which projects an enlarged image onto his laptop screen.  He has just received this, so he needs some practice with it to see how helpful it will really be.

He received a syllabus already from one teacher with her supplies on it.  We have had to try to figure out exactly what he will need from that list as we look at how he will adapt her requirements to fit his needs.  He has emailed her, and she seems quite receptive to what he has suggested.

S also has ADD which presents a challenge when we are talking about college.  Time management and planning are going to be key in his success.  He likes using Google Calendar and the task list.  He has already entered all of his assignments from the syllabus he has received.  (I won’t tell how long it actually took him to do that task.)

S likes looking at a calendar also.  We have a 4 week calendar on our fridge that he frequently stops by to look at and gets sucked into the “Calendar Zone”.  We purchased a 4 month calendar to hang on the wall near his desk.  J has filled it in for him for this semester and color coded everything for S.

At this point, we believe we have everything in place for S to be successful.  I'm sure we are missing something. I am anxious to talk to him tomorrow afternoon to see how his first day went. As he likes to tell us, “You are more excited about this than I am.”  Maybe...just maybe….

I will be on the couch with chocolate looking forward to seeing how this next chapter in my son’s life plays out!