How is S with time management?

S:  I’m doing well with my schoolwork.

Me:  And you should be.  You only have one class.

This was the tail end of a conversation that my son and I were having the other day.  This conversation started when he came downstairs at approximately 1:00 pm to start his day.  The deal we have is that if you are living at home as a young adult you need to be a productive member of society.  Most productive members start their day prior to 1:00.  I know, I know. Some people work the night shift.  He does not!

[Disclaimer:  This post might seem like it is jumping all over the place.  It has felt that way at our house the past few months. Welcome to our world!]

How did we get here?

There are so many things leading up to this point.  S graduated from high school last year and is currently a student at our local community college.  He started last semester with 7 credits, and that was enough for him.  

Fall Semester

A few posts I wrote last semester include:

The day before college starts

I thought you were exaggerating.

Due dates are not optional!

First semester of college is finished!

There is a common theme in these posts and they have to do with time management and organization.  Our son who is attending college with CP and Low Vision is having a challenging time with his ADD at school.

Spring Semester

This challenge is evidenced by his idea of a plan for college which I had to write about early this semester:  “Winging it” is not a plan for college success.”

He started this semester with two classes.  He is now down to one.  He was missing deadlines in one class.  Not only was he turning in work late, it was incomplete and not his best work.  We had to sit down with him and inform him that it was time to drop the one class, so he could salvage his other class.  

Discussions with Vocational Rehab Counselor

A couple of weeks ago we were at the ophthalmologist’s office.  S’s Vocational Rehab Counselor from DBVI joined us for the appointment.  Since we were there for approximately 3 hours, we had plenty of time to visit with her.  She asked S how school was going.  

After he talked around the issue for 5 minutes, I asked, “Did you tell her you dropped a class?”  

“I kind of did.”  

“No, you didn’t.”

She asked S how he was with time management and organization; she proceeded to offer him many suggestions to help himself with both issues.  At one point, she asked him if he has heard all of this from his parents because “I see your parents sitting over there laughing.”  We told her he can continue to hear the same information over and over and over and over because maybe he will try implementing some of these strategies.

We met with his VR counselor again a couple of days later for a meeting.  She asked us in the meeting, “How is S with time management?”  It is nonexistent.  We explained to her EVERYTHING we have suggested to S to help with his time management.  My husband and I are great at reading and researching.  Everything we have read, we have tried with him.  The lists on websites, in books, recommendations from professionals are all things we have tried with him.

The challenge we have now is that S is a young adult.  We can’t make him “do”.  We can’t enable him.  We can suggest.  We can support.  He must be the “doer”.  He must implement strategies and ask for help when needed.

I will be on the couch with chocolate.....

First semester of college is finished!

Today is the last day of my son’s first semester of college.  It has been an educational semester to say the least.  Okay, I will be honest.  It has been a challenge.  

When the semester first started, I wrote some posts about my son’s ADD and college.  I didn’t post what I wrote as I tried to figure out new boundaries for myself and my son; what I can write about and what I can’t.  I have been off the grid for a while trying to figure this out.

However, today is cause for celebration.  S made it through the semester.  It hasn’t been easy. He has worked EXTREMELY hard.  He has studied a lot.  

My son attends college as a student with three identified disabilities:  Cerebral Palsy - Spastic Quadriplegia, Low Vision, and ADD.  He had accommodations in place before the semester started.  His professors have been awesome about working with him so he could be successful. His biggest challenges came from his ADD:  organization skills,  time management, creating and executing a plan, and prioritizing tasks.

I have so many scenarios I could write about showcasing his challenges, but I haven’t.  Today’s scenario kind of wraps it all up.  

For his last final, my son had to write a final essay (500-750 words) to be turned in at 1:30 today. We planned on leaving at 12:30.  He had to write a final analysis of his writing throughout the semester for his English class.  They have had the opportunity to do extra credit related to this final project after each essay.  He has done that.  He was setting himself up for success.  He created a study plan to get himself through finals.  He knew what needed to be done to keep himself on track.  That train derailed early on…..

Last night, he was typing his essay.  We recommended that he finish it last night so he could sleep in today.  I will skip all of the boring details.  Here was what happened.

Today’s schedule:

2:30 AM:  S came upstairs kicking each step on the way which woke me up.  He informed me he wasn’t finished.

7:30 AM:  S woke up to finish writing.

9:00 AM:  Told me he was almost finished

11:00 AM:  Thought he was done.  Not sure on his word count.  Checked it.  He had 305 words.  Better write some a lot more.

11:30 AM:  Had 490 words.  Wrote one more sentence to push it to 504.

12:27 PM:  Printed paper.  Couldn’t find his phone.  Needed a backpack to put his paper in.  Needed a pencil.

1:40 PM:  I received a text from him that his paper was turned in.

At the end of the day (or semester), he finished. He made it through.  Next semester needs to be different.  He knows what areas he really needs to work on to help himself get through school and life a little easier.

I will be on the couch with chocolate and wine.  I think my husband may join me on the couch with a beer. Enjoy your weekend! We will.

T Week: To do, Trip, Transition

The Senior

S has been busy working this week on his two remaining classes:  English and German IV. For English, he is still doing daily journaling and editing along with his To Kill a Mockingbird literature study.

S's inclination is to sleep in every morning, but that won't help him finish his work.  There is a balance there.  He was better about getting up once he looked at a calendar and realized he might not be finished by the target ending date.  “In order to get your work done, you must get up in the morning and work without distracting yourself.”  He has heard this a time or two thousand.

S took some time off Tuesday afternoon to watch some live stream sessions from a work conference that my husband was working/facilitating.  He enjoyed that.

S went to Youth group Wednesday night.  We are lucky that we have friends from church who live near us whose son also attends youth group.  They picked S up and brought him home. He had to wait to come home until their son was done with music practice after youth group. He didn't care as long as he could get to youth group.  

He had horseback riding this morning.  This weekend he isn't volunteering.  We are going to take some time and try to finish up some tasks on his to-do list which include contacting people and coordinating some appointments.

The Sophomore

J had kind of a crazy week.  I had to pull him out of school Tuesday for a couple of hours to go to the Orthodontist.  He had a bar put on his bottom teeth, and he finally heard the magic words, "We are almost done."  So almost done that we have scheduled the appointment for "debanding". Yeah!!!  

He came home from school Tuesday afternoon and the bar was already loose.  Back to the Orthodontist we went.  The staff member who needed to fix it wasn't there, so he had to go back Thursday morning.  He missed a little bit of school again.

He has been doing AP History review.  He had a math test, Chemistry test, and Spanish quiz this week.  He took his final test for Drivers Ed, so now we can look at scheduling his behind the wheel instruction once he gets his “green card”.  Unfortunately, I don't think he can do that until July.  It would have been nice for him to finish that before school was out.  

J had practice for 17.5 hours this week.  They are working skills and conditioning.

On the Homefront

Last weekend we sat down and planned a tentative route/timeline for our trip to Minnesota this summer.  We are driving.  We never drive there.  We fly.  The boys are NOT excited about the road trip.  They don't really believe us when we say it will be fun.  We are driving because we have to transport the items for S's graduation party.  Also, we are going to do some college visits for J on the way.  He is going to tour the University of Minnesota and possible the University of Iowa.  S may go visit another college too.

We also went to Busch Gardens on Sunday.  They have a new roller coaster, Tempesto, that opened last weekend, and the boys really wanted to go try it.  It was quite chilly and rainy here, but Sunday afternoon it cleared up and warmed up a little bit.  Off we went.  I did not ride it. Just watching it made me want to throw up.  My husband, J, and S rode it.  S has always been the daredevil and thrill seeker, but one time on this ride was enough for him.  It is, however, J's new favorite ride.  He and my husband rode again.  S and I bought popcorn and a pretzel and enjoyed that instead.  There are a couple of roller coasters I do ride there, so I had the opportunity for some fun also.  My husband told me he felt bad that I had to sit there while they rode.  I told him that was a much better option than me riding and throwing up (motion sickness).

After a fairly relaxing weekend, it was a busy week for us.  My husband was up in Washington DC for four days for a work conference.  He was quite busy.  I was busy since he was gone.  I had drop off/pick up for three days.  He was home in time Thursday night for pick up.

Because my husband was gone, I had a lot of time to spend at Starbucks this week since I stayed while J was at practice.  It gave me the opportunity to create a very detailed to-do list for everyone and for S's graduation party.

J told me that he appreciates my very detailed to-do lists.  My husband said, “You know what S will say.”  Oh yes, I do.  Yesterday, he told me what we knew he would say.  “I think it’s funny that you get to sit and create to-do lists for everyone else, but where’s your to-do list?”  There is a story there that involves a broken arm, surgery, and an 8 month recovery.

I spent time getting needed addresses for invitations.  I also used this time to look up some information for myself about things I might want to do as I make my transition from a homeschooling mom to mom.

What did I write this week?

Transitioning Mom

I will be on the couch with chocolate and my many lists.

Linking up with:

Therapy in the Kitchen

When we were celebrating S’s Gotcha Day with fondue, I was watching him stir the pot, literally, and I grabbed my phone to take a picture. 

“Really, mom?  What could you possible blog about with this?”  

Oh, I had an answer. "Cooking and therapy - a perfect match."

When S was a fifth grader, he worked on food preparation skills in Occupational Therapy.  He exited OT as an early middle school student.  Last year, we had him start again.  We asked that they work on helping him with cooking skills and strategies.  S’s goal is to live independently; therefore, he needs to be able to eat.  Contrary to his thinking, food just does not appear in the refrigerator in single serve reheatable containers.

Last year's Occupational Therapy services were very beneficial to him.  The OT has children who are college age, so she was able to provide S with real world examples of the need to cook.  She had him preparing different food items for the staff at the clinic (biscuits, brownies, etc.).  One day we met at one of this organization's Rehab facilities so she could monitor him in a full size kitchen.  She was impressed with how much he could do.  It also showed her areas to continue working with him.  

One of the most difficult areas for S is baking.  There is a lot of planning and movement around an oven.  The OT brought in a toaster oven for him to try.  That worked very well.  S now has his own toaster oven.  When he uses it, he puts a chair in front of it so he can sit while he is maneuvering pans in/out of it.

We have S prepare single serve containers of food items from larger quantities:  yogurt, granola, meal items. We also have him cook large meals and divide things up. He is a fan of "one bowl" meals. He will mix all kinds of things together.

Through the years, we have tried different kitchen items for S.  In addition to his toaster oven, he likes the following:

Ove Gloves :  S loves these for his toaster oven!  Oven mitts are difficult for him to put on, and he feels unsure of himself when he is wearing these.  With the Ove Gloves, he is very comfortable working with the toaster oven and hot pans.  If he is comfortable, he is relaxed.  If he is relaxed, his tone doesn't kick in.  If his tone doesn't kick in, he can move much better.

Pampered Chef Small Micro Cooker:  This has a handle and a lid.

Rubbermaid containers:  These are S's best tool in the kitchen.  It allows him to carry his food without spilling as he walks (remember he's walking with crutches).  

Tervis Tumblers:  Easy for carrying drinks.

Ziploc bags

For S, the therapeutic benefits are extensive.  He is working fine motor (cutting, stirring, peeling, measuring, pouring), gross motor (moving around the kitchen safely), motor planning (how to carry things from A to B), executive function (what items do I need, creating lists, planning a shopping trip), and paying attention to time (how long does something need to cook and what else needs to be done in that time).

I think I will hang out on the couch with chocolate and let S work in the kitchen.

Linking up with:

http://asheleadsisjoy.blogspot.com/

Senior Stress and ADD

The other day we were talking about graduation approaching and what an exciting time it is.  S is registered for the homeschool convention’s commencement ceremony.  We are having his graduation party in Minnesota and have been discussing plans for that (food, decorations, invitations).

S’s response to us was, “I think you are more excited about me graduating than I am.”  J’s response was, “Yes!”

J pegged the problem a couple of weeks ago.  He told us, “S is scared.”  He’s right.  S is scared. Life is scary, but we are here to help him through it.

As a senior, S has decisions to make about his future.  He’s not alone in making these decisions, but he does have to decide some things.  He has some things that are known, and he has some things he needs to decide.

How does his ADD figure into this?

We are firm believers in arming yourself with knowledge.  Gather information, ask questions, use various tools/resources to help make decisions.  For S, the more information he has, the more information he has to try to filter through; it gives him more paths to jump down which provides more information which leads to more paths….you get the picture.

He is also stressed because he doesn’t know what job he will be doing when he is done with school.  He doesn’t like our answer, “You don’t need to know that right now.  You just need to focus on the first step, starting college.”  

We tell him our stories.  I started college as an Accounting major.  I have a degree in Teaching Deaf/Hard of Hearing students.  My husband started college without really knowing what he wanted.  He joined the Army one year later and finished his degree in Liberal Studies while on active duty.  He also went on to get his MBA while in the Army.  

For someone who doesn’t forward plan most of what he does, this is one area S wants written in stone.  The fact that he doesn’t know or that his path could change from what he plans is stressful. That stress causes his mind to come up with many different scenarios to try to filter through also.

How do we help?

As parents, we have tried to limit and focus the decision making.  We helped create a transition plan for him.  

1. For starters, we told him that we felt our local community college would be a good starting point for him.  
2. Since he is starting at the community college, he didn’t have to take the ACT or SAT. We had spent a lot of time working on the accommodation process, and we felt that all of our time and energy could be better spent on other things.
3. He doesn’t have to move.  He will live at home.  That eliminates the stress of him trying to figure out a lot of independent living skills in conjunction with college classes.  He has the skills to live independently, but it is a balancing act.  Everything he does takes longer because of his CP.  In addition, we are working on improving his  Executive Function skills.
4. It eliminated the stress of trying to decide which 4 year school would be the best one for him right now, especially given the fact he doesn't know for sure what he wants for his major.  He has looked at a couple of schools in Minnesota and one in Virginia. He didn’t like the one he looked at here, but he has a few more he wants to visit. There is no rush. He can take his time.
5. We have taken him to the community college and met with the Disabled Student Services Office already.  He knows he has a support system there. That made it more real to him which calmed some of his anxiety about that.
6. We made sure he has support services from the state in place.  He is a registered client of DARS and DBVI.
7. He has a transportation option available to him here.  He isn’t excited about it, but we have told him he needs to use it.   
8. By staying local, S can practice independence while still having a safety net.
9. He doesn’t have to worry about changing medical providers.  He has a good relationship with all of his doctors.
10. Pray!  A lot!

What next?

We have talked to S about the need to visit more colleges in Virginia.  He has had recommendations from therapists and other trusted adults.  The problem is he doesn’t want to say yes or no to visiting them.  “I can. I guess that would be okay.  If you want me to….”

We have a short list from him, for the time being, of colleges he is willing to visit.  If he doesn’t like any of them, we will throw the net out further.

Ultimately, we tell him that God has a plan for him, and it will all work out.  I will be on the couch with chocolate and the knowledge that there is a great plan in place for S.  

14 Weeks Left - Senior Year

The Senior

S had a busy week and accomplished quite a bit of work.  It had been a challenge for him to focus on his work with his brother having half days of school and days off the previous week.  I thought it would be better since J was back in school for full days. It might have been a more productive week if S had gotten up earlier every day to start his work. When I say get up earlier, I'm not talking about 6:00 or even 7:00. 8:00 would be a nice time for him. That hasn't happened this week. Enough said...

He is more motivated at this point in the week since we told him that when he gets his work done for the week, then he will be able to attend the Super Bowl party with us on Sunday. We are trying to use more positive tones as instructed by the Smart but Scattered Teens book instead of saying, "If you don't ___, then you can't ____." (We have done that A LOT!) 

S told me that wasn't more positive. We asked him what was negative. He couldn't tell us, so we told him it must be positive.

[FYI: S woke up at 5:30 this morning. By 10:00, he finished more work than he has in the past 2 days. His ADD causes him to kick it into hyperfocus when he feels it is crunch time. He felt that today, so he worked super hard. He has a small task to finish after riding, and he is done for the week.]

This week S was assigned two projects - one on Low Vision and one on the book, Fallen Angels.  For his Low Vision project, he will create a Prezi which is a format he doesn't like using that much; that is why he is getting more practice with it.  For the novel, S needed to create a playlist to reflect the theme of the book.  I figured he would like that since he enjoys listening to music.  Because it is something very different than anything he has done before, he thought there was a catch to this assignment.  Nope.  Trying to keep it simple, fun, and out of the ordinary.  It's been interesting to see/hear his music choices because he went down a very different path than I would have taken.  The beauty of this assignment is that it is his interpretation.

He also worked on College Algebra and will take another assessment next week. He also had a writing assignment.  We told him we just need him writing!

He also spent this week editing his daily journal writing from the month of January.  Editing is challenging for him, but he will get it.  That is why he spent the week editing. Practice makes perfect or something like that.

S has horseback riding today.  Tomorrow he is going to the Chiropractor for the first time, and he will volunteer for 2 hours.

The exciting news for the week is that we registered S for the graduation commencement ceremony at the homeschool convention in June!  I have been back in contact with the coordinator about accessibility for S that day.  He decided his wheelchair would be the easiest option for the ceremony.  That day will be here before we know it!  Also, HEAV just announced the commencement speaker.  It will be a good day.

The Sophomore

J had Monday off, so he only had 4 days of school this week.  His new semester started.  It will be a nice change for him.  He is now done with PE and picked up Driver's Ed/Health.  He already has his permit and has been driving for 8 months.  

He went to the chiropractor on Monday.  His hip has been bothering him, and it feels much better now.  He has a fabulous chiropractor who has taken good care of him for a number of years.

J practiced 17.5 hours this week.  

On the Homefront

We made it home from our trip to New York City on Sunday night - right before the big storm and just in time for my husband to turn around and leave for Kansas on Monday.  We had some snow here Monday night but not enough for a delay on Tuesday morning.  J was a little disappointed about that.  Extra sleep is always nice for a teenager (and mom).

I had drop off and pick up duties Monday and Tuesday night for J's practice since my husband was gone.  I spent time hanging out at Starbucks.  I had uninterrupted time to read and write.

I went to the chiropractor on Monday also.  It had been a while since I had gone in for an adjustment.  It was long overdue.  I feel much better and won't wait that long to go again.

We had a great time on our weekend getaway.  Seeing Casting Crowns at Carnegie Hall was AMAZING!!!!  J is our trip photographer when we travel.  He has over 400 pictures from our trip.  I posted a few pictures here. Can I just add how nice it was to have a third driver for our trip?

We were the first ones seated.

What have I written this week?

Our New York City Experiences

The Importance of Stretching

Linking up with:

http://www.lovethatmax.com/

16 Weeks Left, Gymnastics, and Midterms

The Senior

S made it through another week!  He is motivated to get his work finished, but there were a few days this week that he thought he should sleep in; however, he has been working hard to get his assignments done.  It has been really nice to see him working so hard without "encouraging" words from mom and dad.  

This week he has worked on College Algebra and finished another assessment, done Daily Journaling, continued the in-depth review/edit of his research paper (a lot of progress has been made on improving it), written an essay, finished and submitted the Human Eye Lesson 4 (only one lesson left in the course), worked on History and watched some related DVDs from The Great Courses, and worked on German IV.

Hard at work.

He has horseback riding today.  We have had some chilly, icy weather, so we are hoping it isn’t too cold when he is riding.

He will volunteer 4 hours this weekend.  It's been more difficult to schedule hours this month because of our schedule.  He should get more hours in next month.

S has heard his brother talking about his exam schedule at school for midterms, and he is thankful that he is homeschooled.

I saw that graduation registration will open up on January 26 for the commencement ceremony at the homeschool convention. It will be here before we know it!

The Sophomore

J has had a crazy week!  It is exam time at school.  This week he took his SOL for World History on Monday.  Today he is taking his midterm exam in the same class, and he also has a project due in that class.  He has been busy reviewing for the rest of his midterms next week. His schedule next week is Monday off; exams and early dismissal on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday; and then he has Friday and the following Monday off.  

J had a meet last weekend, so Saturday was a LONG day for us.  He did well.  He placed on pommel horse, rings, vault, high bar, and all around.  He improved scores on 3 individual events and his all around score.  He knows what skills he needs to improve.  Overall, he was pleased and he had fun.  That's what we want for him.

He had practice for 14 hours this week (stayed home last night because he was sick).  That, along with studying, has kept him busy.  He has a "relaxed" weekend (studying for exams) ahead of him.

On the Homefront

It has been a busy week.  We started off with J's meet which was fun, but we were tired Sunday morning with only 5.5 hours of sleep before church (we stayed awake during the sermon).  

My husband headed up to Washington DC on Monday night for a Tuesday meeting.  Those trips make for some long days for him. Because he was gone Monday evening, I had drop-off and pick up for J's practice. His practice is 45 minutes from our house. Because his practices are 3.5 hours long, my husband and I go back and forth so we can spend some time together. Since he wasn't home, I stayed up there and hung out at Starbucks the whole time. Why not? I was able to get a lot of reading and writing done.

My favorite:  Trenta Cool Lime Refresher

My husband had 3 PT appointments this week.  His PT evaluation was yesterday, and his PT was pleased with his progress.  He goes back in 4 weeks.

I have kept busy keeping track of everyone and their schedules for this week.  I am also getting ready for our trip to New York City that our family is going on next week after J finishes exams.  We are looking forward to that.  We are going to see Casting Crowns at Carnegie Hall. So excited about that!

My husband and I had a date night last Friday night while J was at practice.  We were able to read some more in the book, Smart but Scattered Teens:  The “Executive Skills” Program for Helping Teens Reach Their Potential.  S has been hearing some good advice from the book. He keeps telling us he is the only model, and he can't be improved.  We told him we want the model to work more efficiently.

What have I written this week?

Executive Function

Therapy at 18 Years Old

I was able to start reading Brielle and Me this week.  I just finished this morning! I enjoyed Kerith’s honesty about her life.  It was very nice reading about someone who “gets” my life. If you haven't read this book, I strongly encourage you to do so. I will write more about it later when I have time.

You know where I will be this weekend - on the couch with chocolate!  Have a good weekend!

Linking up with:

http://www.lovethatmax.com/