How is S with time management?

S:  I’m doing well with my schoolwork.

Me:  And you should be.  You only have one class.

This was the tail end of a conversation that my son and I were having the other day.  This conversation started when he came downstairs at approximately 1:00 pm to start his day.  The deal we have is that if you are living at home as a young adult you need to be a productive member of society.  Most productive members start their day prior to 1:00.  I know, I know. Some people work the night shift.  He does not!

[Disclaimer:  This post might seem like it is jumping all over the place.  It has felt that way at our house the past few months. Welcome to our world!]

How did we get here?

There are so many things leading up to this point.  S graduated from high school last year and is currently a student at our local community college.  He started last semester with 7 credits, and that was enough for him.  

Fall Semester

A few posts I wrote last semester include:

The day before college starts

I thought you were exaggerating.

Due dates are not optional!

First semester of college is finished!

There is a common theme in these posts and they have to do with time management and organization.  Our son who is attending college with CP and Low Vision is having a challenging time with his ADD at school.

Spring Semester

This challenge is evidenced by his idea of a plan for college which I had to write about early this semester:  “Winging it” is not a plan for college success.”

He started this semester with two classes.  He is now down to one.  He was missing deadlines in one class.  Not only was he turning in work late, it was incomplete and not his best work.  We had to sit down with him and inform him that it was time to drop the one class, so he could salvage his other class.  

Discussions with Vocational Rehab Counselor

A couple of weeks ago we were at the ophthalmologist’s office.  S’s Vocational Rehab Counselor from DBVI joined us for the appointment.  Since we were there for approximately 3 hours, we had plenty of time to visit with her.  She asked S how school was going.  

After he talked around the issue for 5 minutes, I asked, “Did you tell her you dropped a class?”  

“I kind of did.”  

“No, you didn’t.”

She asked S how he was with time management and organization; she proceeded to offer him many suggestions to help himself with both issues.  At one point, she asked him if he has heard all of this from his parents because “I see your parents sitting over there laughing.”  We told her he can continue to hear the same information over and over and over and over because maybe he will try implementing some of these strategies.

We met with his VR counselor again a couple of days later for a meeting.  She asked us in the meeting, “How is S with time management?”  It is nonexistent.  We explained to her EVERYTHING we have suggested to S to help with his time management.  My husband and I are great at reading and researching.  Everything we have read, we have tried with him.  The lists on websites, in books, recommendations from professionals are all things we have tried with him.

The challenge we have now is that S is a young adult.  We can’t make him “do”.  We can’t enable him.  We can suggest.  We can support.  He must be the “doer”.  He must implement strategies and ask for help when needed.

I will be on the couch with chocolate.....

Almost to the end of Senior year!

On the Homefront

You know it's been a crazy week when I start with the homefront first.  Our calendar has looked like a mosaic with all of the different colored boxes overlapping and butting up next to each other.  This week the boys have had 3 medical appointments, 2 meetings, an SOL test, and college placement testing.  This is on top of regularly scheduled activities - horseback riding, youth group, and gymnastics practice.  And, my husband had a church meeting squeezed in there.  My husband and I are tired!

Although it was a crazy, busy week, these were all necessary things that were accomplished. That is always a good feeling.  

We have a fairly relaxed weekend ahead of us, so we are looking forward to that.  We are going to a cookout Saturday evening.  We have 2 invitations for Sunday.  Not sure we will make it to both.  S is volunteering all day Monday.  As long as the weather is nice, my husband, J, and I will hang out at the beach during that time.  Looking forward to that!

The Senior

S has had things on the calendar every day this week - Chiropractor, Social Security meeting, College Placement testing, Youth Group, meeting with DBVI Vocational Rehab counselor, and horseback riding.  

With all of the various agency meetings S has had to attend lately, there have been a lot of discussions at home about his future.  They are always interesting conversations as S’s ADD starts to run rampant.  My husband does a good job of summarizing our conversations in his post, Simple problem solving.

This was a week of getting answers and planning the next steps forward. All of the frustration S has felt in the weeks building up to this point is gone as he sees how it all fit together. He got through the wave. Last night was one of the first nights in a LONG time that we didn't have things we needed to get together or discuss or finish something up. He enjoyed that very much.

The big news this week is that S is done with English!!!!  He has one class to finish up for his senior year - German IV.  As he told me yesterday, “You know, I can sit and do that for hours.”  

He hasn't volunteered all month since he has been working hard to cross things off his to-do list. He will be volunteering for 6 hours on Memorial Day.

Tonight we are going to Busch Gardens to partake in the Food and Wine Festival while J is at practice. J figured S could eat his way through the park tonight and make recommendations for when he is able to go. The Food and Wine Festival is S's favorite activity there!

The Sophomore

J had a busy week also.  He started his week with bloodwork for his allergy testing.  He has ended his week with a 730 appointment with the Pediatric Nephrologist for a follow up for his high blood pressure.  My husband took him to the early appointment.

In between his bookend appointments, he had an SOL History test for school.  He has some projects to work on this weekend.  He finished up a project last weekend and is turning it in today (early) for extra credit.

He only had practice for 4 days this week since his coach was just returning from vacation.  J was glad to be back in the gym although he got a nasty rip the first night of practice this week!

What did I write this week?

Graduation is coming - ready or not!

How much did he cost? and other questions  

After this crazy week, you will find me on the couch (and the beach) with chocolate!

Linking up with:

Graduation is coming - ready or not!

My son is a senior.  My son is almost finished with the school year.  My son is going through commencement on June 13.  My son is not excited about this change.  He isn’t doing a countdown to the end of the year.  He may/may not be trying to prolong some of his work to keep the end from happening; however, it’s coming.

As the end of the school year is rapidly approaching, my son is also having to attend to many different transition areas:

*Meeting with Social Security

*Trying to figure out transportation since his pickup point is too far from our house and it isn’t safe to get there (no sidewalks)

*Teleconferences and meeting with his Vocational Rehab counselor to create an Individualized Employment Plan (There is great stress/anxiety involved with this since he doesn’t know exactly what he wants to do when he grows up.  We tell him it is one step at a time.)

*Placement tests at the community college  

The reality for him is that this is going to happen.  He is more accepting of it, but it doesn’t mean he likes it.  He informed me one afternoon that “growing up sucks!”  Whether or not it does, we tell him repeatedly that it is happening.  Embrace it!

All that being said, Monday was a breakthrough moment for him.  Last Friday he had a teleconference with his Voc Rehab counselor to discuss some ideas for his employment plan which will be developed at a meeting on Thursday.  

[On any given day, his plans for the future change.  He has ADD and is always in “think” mode about his options for the future.  We are okay with that, but the counselor needs something to write down on his plan.  My son’s passion is History, and we have discussed many different career paths for a History major.....]

So, he told his counselor he thought he might go with a Business degree which has been "briefly" discussed before.  

Three days later, on Monday morning, he told me that he spent a lot of time thinking about his future over the weekend and he feels strongly about pursuing a career in History.  I told him that he would need to discuss that with his Voc Rehab counselor at their meeting on Thursday.  

“Oh, I already talked to her.”  

“What?”
“I called her this morning and told her my thoughts.  I explained to her that I really want to do something History related.”

Wow!  I told him I was impressed with him taking control of the situation and contacting her.  

Within 30 minutes of the above conversation, he had talked himself into possibly pursuing an Economics degree.  At that point, I told him he can’t call his counselor every time he changes his mind.  He laughed because he knows how frequently he is doing it.  

Graduation is coming.  He is now looking forward to the festivities involved with it, but he still thinks that growing up sucks.  Gotcha!  It’s happening though.

I will be on the couch with chocolate observing my son as he is getting ready to graduate...and wondering when that little 4 year old boy who came into our lives 14 years ago grew up.

What My Senior Thinks & Testing

The Senior

S has been working to get his last two classes finished.  I won’t say he is working joyfully because he isn’t.

This is what I heard from him on Tuesday…

“I think we should make a deal.”

“I think since I am so close to being finished that you should cut me some slack.”

“I think that I shouldn’t have to write the last essay.”

“I think since you are more excited about me being done than I am that you should just let me be finished.  Then, you can be really excited.”

“I think that I have too much to juggle right now.”

...and the list goes on.  I told him he doesn’t have to finish German IV since that is an elective, but he must finish English 12.  Guess which class he wants to finish and which one he doesn’t?  In addition to everything else he was thinking that day, he thinks I was being ridiculous.

I will say he continued to plug away at his work, so he gets a shout out for that.

***********************************************************************************************************

This was almost an appointment/activity free week for him which gave him a lot of time to get work done.  This was good because he has 3 appointments, youth group, and horseback riding next week.  He needs to talk to transportation also because of his assigned pickup location which isn’t near our house nor is it safe for him to get there (traffic, lack of sidewalks, distance, etc.).  

S has been in frequent contact with the Assistive Technology person at the community college trying to coordinate his accommodations for the placement tests he needs to take.  I have to say that everyone he has emailed at the college has been very quick in their responses.  The AT person has emailed late in the evening and early in the morning.  We were hoping S could get his testing done this week, and he was able to get in to start his English placement test today.  He is there right now.  We are hoping they will waive the Math placement test after they evaluate his request regarding his College Algebra course.  We shall see.  

This afternoon he is doing a telephone conference with his Vocational Rehab counselor prior to their meeting next week.

He did make some graduation party decisions for us which is progress.  Yeah! He knows it is coming.  He has agreed to go to the Senior Meet and Greet which is being held the day before the commencement ceremony.  He also agreed to join the Google group for the graduates.  

The Sophomore

Testing!  That was the word of the week for J and school.  Because it was AP exam week and SOL testing at school, the schedules have been crazy for the kids.  J took his AP History exam yesterday.  He has his Chemistry SOL today.  Next week he will take his History SOL.  Then they will ramp up for finals.

J went to the doctor yesterday to talk about a referral to an allergist.  We talked about if he would be a candidate for allergy shots.  His seasonal allergies are getting worse and he is limited to what he can take due to his high blood pressure.  The doctor has ordered the initial labs for a blood draw; however, J has to wait until Monday since he needs to be off of his allergy medication for at least 3 days.  

He only had practice for 3 days this week because there were other activities at their facility. Since there is no practice tonight, we are heading to Busch Gardens for a little family fun.

On the Homefront

We have accomplished many tasks on our massive to-do lists.  My husband finished sheetrocking the garage for part of my Mother’s Day gift.  It looks very nice out there now. The yard was mowed.  S’s announcements were addressed, stamped, and mailed.  We went to Party City to look at plates, silverware, cups, etc. for the party.  

I have all of the pictures sorted for S’s photo boards.  J is going to finish putting them together this weekend.  There are so many!!  It has been fun looking through the pictures.

What did I write this week?

Take your test scores and….

For some entertaining thoughts from my husband on life with a senior, check out his post - A "Little, Orange" Support Team.  

This weekend you will find me on the couch with chocolate listening to more of my senior's thoughts. Have a good one!

Linking up with:

End of the Year Craziness

The Senior

S has had a busy week.  He is working diligently to finish up his last two courses, English and German IV.

It has also been a busy week of working on his to-do list.  He has made contact with various agencies and offices.  He is working hard to coordinate accommodations for his placement tests at the college.  His Vocational Rehab counselor at DBVI was happy to hear from him.  An appointment has been scheduled to meet with her.  He has one week that already has 4 appointments scheduled.  He’s not excited about that; however, they will be done.

S still struggles with the challenge of not knowing what he is going to do when he grows up. We have tried explaining to him, along with the help of other adults in his life, that it is okay to not know exactly.  People change their minds as they are exposed to other opportunities.  He has been told that he needs to move forward.  Indecision can’t stop you from doing something. I think he’s getting it, but the challenge is real.  

S had a chiropractic appointment on Monday (she was an adult who gave guidance referencing the above topic).  This morning he had horseback riding.  He isn’t volunteering again this weekend.  Still trying to give him time to wrap some things up.

The Sophomore

J had a busy week at school.  They are gearing up for exams.  He has his AP History exam next week and a Chemistry SOL (VA’s standardized tests) the next day.

J had a doctor’s appointment Monday morning for a very swollen lymph node behind his ear (visible across the room).  They realized while we were there that he needed another immunization.  They could do it that day or come back as a walk-in.  We have tried the walk-in option before.  It’s not as simple as they make it sound.  He said, “I’m here.  I will do it today.”

J had 14 hours of practice this week.  He stayed home Monday night.  His text to me after school had a poop emoji and the phrase “I feel like I’m dying.” His allergies are really bad, and he can’t take a lot of medications to help with them because of his high blood pressure.  The doctor thinks that is what caused his lymph node to be so swollen; however, she measured it and recorded it. It fell into the monitor category. It is much smaller now.  

J spent time creating t-shirts for a family reunion we will be attending this summer while we are in Minnesota.  My mother-in-law’s family is having a reunion.  There are 9 kids in her family. We worked it so S’s graduation party would be around the same time.  My husband hasn’t seen many of his cousins in 20+ years.  He would like to see them.  Each sibling’s family was designated a color to wear.  J said he would design a shirt for our group to wear.  We placed the bulk order this weekend, so I guess we better remember to bring them with us.

On the Homefront

We were able to get a lot done on our to-do list last weekend only to continue adding things.  I need longer paper.  

I ended up having the flu Saturday night.  Yeah!  That wasn’t fun. Thank goodness I was the only one who had it.  Unfortunately, that meant we couldn’t preview our family pictures on Sunday.  We are doing that this weekend.

We are continuing to work on our to-do list.  The calendar is filling up quickly with J’s exam schedule and S’s appointments.

J and I have been working on S’s photo boards for his graduation party.  Since we are taking the party on the road, everything needs to be done before we get there.  We want to enjoy our time in Minnesota without having to do additional tasks that could have been done already (like the photo boards).  It has been a lot of fun going through the pictures.

This weekend we are going to keep working on our list.  For Mother’s Day, we are going to enjoy time together.  We are grilling for supper that night.  The men in my house are good cooks.  I am very thankful for that!

What did I write this week?

We spoke “Bulgarish”.

High Blood Pressure Awareness Month

Happy Mother’s Day!  I will be on the couch with chocolate enjoying my family.

Linking up with:

Get Through the Wave

My son, S, is rapidly approaching graduation.  He’s not excited about graduating because real life is on the other side of that milestone.  For a young adult who has multiple disabilities, he has a few more things on his to-do list than other young adults.  He has been a little stressed about “life”.  We spend a lot of time talking to him about this.

The past few months have been busy for S.  He has been arranging transportation for himself through Paratransit.  He is applying for SSI.  He has had to establish himself as a client with the Department of Blind/Visually Impaired Vocational Rehab.  He needs to coordinate with DARS since he is now a client of DBVI also.  These are just the service related pieces he is working to put in place.

He has college things he needs to do also.  He has applied to college.  He has completed the FAFSA.  He needs to finish his College Algebra course and apply for ACE credit for that.  He needs to take his placement tests at the college, so he can register for classes.

These are all things we have been working on all year.  We didn’t just start doing them.  We have known they needed to be done.  To my 18 year old son, it is all just a little overwhelming.

Yesterday, he was talking to me about how much there is to do yet.  I explained to him that the hard stuff is over.  He didn’t believe me.  We talked about how much he has already done.

*Transportation has been applied for and approved. We just need to figure out how it is going to work.

*He has filled out the application for SSI and gathered supporting documentation.  He needs to make an appointment and go to the Social Security office.  I told him once he gets the final word from them then he can plan accordingly.

*He has already established himself as a client with DBVI.  Now, it’s just a matter of doing an employment plan and staying in touch with them.

*He just needs to stay in touch with DARS according to the plan he has established with them.

I told him it is like trying to get through a wave.  It is hard work, but it is nice on the other side. You can enjoy the water for a little bit.  We are beach people; he understands that.    

I may not be on the couch with chocolate if I can find a way to get everything done at the beach.

A thank you to my son, J, for his awesome beach photos.

(Get it?  It’s a huge thank you.)

Visit with DBVI Vocational Rehab

[This post was written by my husband who is guest writing for me today. I asked him to write this post since he is the one who took S to his initial DBVI Vocational Rehab appointment.]

S was classified as visually impaired earlier this year.  At the time, we weren’t sure of the value in this “label”.  How would this “label” benefit him and his transition to college and adulthood?  

With this classification, S is now eligible for services and support through the Virginia Department for the Blind and Visually Impaired (DBVI).  A couple of weeks ago, I went with S to his initial meeting with DBVI Vocational Rehab.  It was a very good meeting, and I came to appreciate the quality of service DBVI Voc Rehab provides.

Prior to the meeting, S was very apprehensive and anxious.  He didn’t understand the need to meet with MORE support people.  He already had counselors with the Department of Aging and Rehabilitative Services (DARS) and Disability Support Services at the college.  What would DBVI be able to add and why would DBVI need all this additional paperwork?  It seemed to him to be too much stuff.

Here is what S and I found valuable from our session with DBVI Voc Rehab:

• Assistive Technology:  S really liked the digital magnification tools (hand held, desktop and application-based)
• Vocational Planning:  They were laser focused on the ultimate objective, career employment.
• Education and Training: With a clear vocational goal, Voc Rehab will help identify the education/training steps needed to achieve that goal; to include continuous monitoring of progress.
• DBVI in a supporting role: S has the final say on his vocational goal and the steps needed to achieve his goal.  This one was very important to S.  He likes control.
• Advice on SSI:  Based on DBVI’s strong recommendation, we started the application process for SSI.  This is designed to provide some support funding for S as he attends college since he won’t be able to work and go to school at the same time.

We have much more to do with DBVI Voc Rehab but this positive first meeting with them alleviated much of the anxiety S was feeling about their role in his journey.

With my husband running S around to appointments creating more free time for me, you can find me on the couch with chocolate. You can find my husband at sixbottlestoparis.

9 Weeks Left and Gotcha Day Anniversary

The Senior

It has been a busy week for S.  Monday afternoon, he and his dad went to a 2+ hour meeting with the Vocational Rehab Counselor through the Department of Blind and Vision Impaired (DBVI).  There was a lot of information that was discussed in that amount of time.  Considering S wasn’t excited about attending the meeting, he admitted that it was a good meeting.  

Of course, he had schoolwork.  He took another College Algebra assessment.  He’s hoping to be done with that course around the time of Spring Break.  Then he can apply for ACE credit for that course.  We would like to have that done before he takes his placement tests at the community college.

He also worked on his research paper which is due by the end of the month, History, German IV, and continued daily journal writing.  In addition to all of the senior school stuff, we took time to enjoy some Dr. Seuss books this week in honor of Dr. Seuss’ birthday.  We read The Cat in the Hat, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Yertle the Turtle, The Butter Battle Book, The Sneetches, Oh the Places You’ll Go! (the theme of his graduation party), and Dr. Seuss Goes to War (my history nut).  You are never too old for his books!  

Yesterday was the 14th anniversary of S’s Gotcha Day.  That is always a special day at our house.  Since J had practice, we had a family celebration on Sunday.

S was supposed to have Youth Group Wednesday night; however, traffic was horrible for my husband, so he didn’t make it home in time to get S to church.  He was supposed to have horseback riding today; however, that was cancelled because of icy roads and an icy parking lot at the facility. He starts his new session in two weeks. He will be volunteering tomorrow for one shift.

The Sophomore

J had a good week at school.  He was tired though.  It was supposed to be a full week, but they had an early release on Thursday because of impending weather. It wasn't as bad as they predicted, so Friday was a 2 hour delay. He was glad they didn't have another snow day. When the kids are tired of snow days, you know you have had too many of them.

J was SLAMMED with homework though!  He had a take home AP History test (78 multiple choice questions and 6 or 7 writing questions).  He had a Chemistry test.  He had a Driver’s Ed. quiz.  He has an upcoming Math test.  He has AP History questions due.  He has an English project due. He survived though!  Spring Break will be here in 4 weeks.

He had a good week at practice.  He has been practicing his vault quite a bit after the vaultastrophe. He practiced 13 hours.  He went late on Tuesday, so he could get his homework done.  His coach and his wife are extremely supportive of the gymnasts getting their schoolwork done.  When I texted the coach’s wife to tell her that J would be late, her response was, “Make sure he finishes all of his homework.”  Practice was cancelled Thursday because of weather.

On the Homefront

It has been busy here.  We are in crunch mode trying to get things in order for S for next year. The amazing part of crunch time is that we started all of this early.  It didn’t just appear on our plate.  It is a process we have been working on for a while.  It just seems like a lot of it needs to be done NOW.  

S’s meeting on Monday went well. The Vocational Rehab Counselors reinforced many things we have been telling him that need to be done.  Hopefully this weekend we will finish his SSI application.  He needs to apply to HandiRide for transportation.  Contrary to what he thinks and “suggested” to me, I am not going to drop everything and haul him around to wherever he needs to go next year and the years to come.  He also needs to coordinate some things between his Vocational Rehab Counselors at DBVI and DARS.  It will all get done.  We have a list!

What else has been happening here?  My husband had a church meeting the other night, so I had drop off and pick up duty.  I went to my favorite Starbucks only to find out they were closing early that evening for renovations.  I had to go to a different one.  I don’t like the seating there.  I had some very chatty college girls sitting near me.  I decided I should have just taken my ipad and my “Great Big Book of S’s School” binder into the bathroom and worked since I couldn’t hear them in there.

Sunday afternoon we are going to a college gymnastics meet.  That will be fun.

What did I write this week?

Cerebral Palsy Awareness:  A Brother’s Perspective

Gotcha Day Anniversary

You will find me on the couch with chocolate working on our to-do list with S!  Have a good week!

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