My son, S, is starting college next week. It’s hard to believe it is here already. He is in denial about it. He did not want to graduate. He is not excited about starting college. When asked why he is attending college if he isn’t excited about it, he responds, “I know I have to go to college for what I want to do.” Okay. College will be much better if you act like you are enjoying it.
Last week, college became very real for him. He was having a lot of anxious moments about starting school. This has been concerning for me and my husband. Do we make him go if he is feeling this anxious about it? Do we have him wait to start? Would waiting help the anxiety go away?
We have had many talks with him about school and what it will entail for him. Our son has multiple disabilities - Cerebral Palsy, Low Vision, and ADD. He has more challenges than the average freshman. He knows that all of his accommodations are in place. He knows he has various support service personnel to help him at school and at two different state agencies. He knows he has family and friends supporting him. Still, there has been this anxiety about going to college.
My son was homeschooled for seven years. We know he is prepared academically for college. I have probably had some mommy anxious moments too, “Did I do a good enough job getting him ready? Is he concerned about the work load?”.
Last week I was talking to a lady I have become friends with this past year. I was telling her about S and his anxiety about college. She said, “He is going to do just fine. He is ready for the classes”
On our drive home after horseback riding, I shared this story with him. I wanted him to know that he has a lot of people who believe in him and his ability to be successful.
The following conversation took place.
“I know I am going to do fine in my classes.”
I stopped, looked at him, and clarified, “You aren’t worried about your classes?”
“Then why do you have such anxiety about going to college if you know you are going to do fine in your classes? What is there to cause you to not want to attend?”
“Life is much easier at home. Homeschooling was very comfortable, and I just knew that everything was taken care of and set up for me.”
Wow! Didn’t expect that response! I enjoyed that nice warm feeling for a moment and realized….
It is time for this baby bird to be pushed out of the nest and fly!
You will find me on the couch with chocolate appreciating the fact that our homeschool was successful and, apparently, really comfortable.