S: I’m doing well with my schoolwork.
Me: And you should be. You only have one class.
This was the tail end of a conversation that my son and I were having the other day. This conversation started when he came downstairs at approximately 1:00 pm to start his day. The deal we have is that if you are living at home as a young adult you need to be a productive member of society. Most productive members start their day prior to 1:00. I know, I know. Some people work the night shift. He does not!
[Disclaimer: This post might seem like it is jumping all over the place. It has felt that way at our house the past few months. Welcome to our world!]
How did we get here?
There are so many things leading up to this point. S graduated from high school last year and is currently a student at our local community college. He started last semester with 7 credits, and that was enough for him.
Fall Semester
A few posts I wrote last semester include:
There is a common theme in these posts and they have to do with time management and organization. Our son who is attending college with CP and Low Vision is having a challenging time with his ADD at school.
Spring Semester
This challenge is evidenced by his idea of a plan for college which I had to write about early this semester: “Winging it” is not a plan for college success.”
He started this semester with two classes. He is now down to one. He was missing deadlines in one class. Not only was he turning in work late, it was incomplete and not his best work. We had to sit down with him and inform him that it was time to drop the one class, so he could salvage his other class.
He started this semester with two classes. He is now down to one. He was missing deadlines in one class. Not only was he turning in work late, it was incomplete and not his best work. We had to sit down with him and inform him that it was time to drop the one class, so he could salvage his other class.
Discussions with Vocational Rehab Counselor
A couple of weeks ago we were at the ophthalmologist’s office. S’s Vocational Rehab Counselor from DBVI joined us for the appointment. Since we were there for approximately 3 hours, we had plenty of time to visit with her. She asked S how school was going.
After he talked around the issue for 5 minutes, I asked, “Did you tell her you dropped a class?”
“I kind of did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
She asked S how he was with time management and organization; she proceeded to offer him many suggestions to help himself with both issues. At one point, she asked him if he has heard all of this from his parents because “I see your parents sitting over there laughing.” We told her he can continue to hear the same information over and over and over and over because maybe he will try implementing some of these strategies.
We met with his VR counselor again a couple of days later for a meeting. She asked us in the meeting, “How is S with time management?” It is nonexistent. We explained to her EVERYTHING we have suggested to S to help with his time management. My husband and I are great at reading and researching. Everything we have read, we have tried with him. The lists on websites, in books, recommendations from professionals are all things we have tried with him.
The challenge we have now is that S is a young adult. We can’t make him “do”. We can’t enable him. We can suggest. We can support. He must be the “doer”. He must implement strategies and ask for help when needed.
I will be on the couch with chocolate.....
I'm sorry S is having trouble with time management. My husband has Aspergers and ADD. He's been struggling with time management for 61 years. It's frustrating for both of us. It's why he is no longer self employed. He does much better with the extreme structure and accountability of working for the PO!! But it took him 45 years to acknowledge that he needed help! I hope S can come up with some strategies that will help sooner than my hubs did!!
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