Transitioning with DARS Part 2

After receiving notification that S qualified for the Vocational Rehab Program, he had to meet with his counselor again to create an Individualized Plan for Employment.  

He had to tell his counselor his educational plans and what he wanted to study.  He had to tell her what kind of job he wanted (Military Analyst) and where he thought he would be employed (Federal Government).

We have talked about this at home, and he is having some difficulty accepting that he is in this phase of life - college, job, moving out, becoming financially independent.  It has become more real this past year as some of his friends graduated, and he listens to their stories.

This was a good meeting.  Also, his counselor went over his responsibilities to achieve his goals (attending appointments, taking his medication, attending class, achieving a good GPA, etc).  This makes it all very real to him, and he knows that he is responsible for achieving his goals.  As I told him, we are all here to help him but we can’t do it for him.  It is up to him.

I will continue to support him in his endeavors while I am on the couch with chocolate.

[Side note:  Since this time, S has talked about some other career ideas.  If he changes his mind, he needs to meet with his counselor to make sure that everyone at DARS is on the same path as he is to help him achieve his goals.  Right now, he is in the information gathering phase and praying about different options.]

Transitioning with DARS Part 1

The state of Virginia has a Department for Aging and Rehabilitative Services (DARS).  We contacted them at one point during S’s sophomore year, a file on him was started, but we did not meet with them at that time.  In the winter of S’s junior year, my husband called DARS again.  Because S was 17, they wanted to meet with him.

The initial meeting went well.  It was a lot of paperwork and questions.  S did well, and his counselor was very nice.  I don’t think she’s worked with someone who was homeschooled before.  The majority of the questions for high school age students relate to their public school.  Together, we worked our way through the questions.

At the end of the meeting, S’s counselor had filled out all of her paperwork.  She had all of the papers we brought with (medical documentation, test results, school records), S had signed a number of forms for information sharing purposes, and she explained the process to us.

What she discussed with S:

1.  His plans for the future:  attending Thomas Nelson Community College and transferring to a 4 year college

2.  Application for Handi Ride so he has transportation:  He is not one bit excited about Handi Ride - a little bit of a struggle in accepting that he won’t drive.  We will work through that.

3.  Meeting with an Assistive Technology specialist to see what tools are available to help him.

4.  SSI:  The counselor’s recommendation is to wait to apply until he is 18 since he is so close to his 18th birthday.  Children who receive SSI need to reapply when they turn 18.  He has no desire to apply for SSI.

5.  Medical insurance:  S is covered until 26 under my husband which is good.

6.  Other services that would be available to him if he becomes a DARS client.

All in all, it was a good meeting.  We liked his counselor.  S has a little bit of a struggle with this process because he doesn’t like being classified as disabled.  We understand that, but we want him to have access to services that can be beneficial in achieving his goals.

Working with DARS is one more tool to help him transition and start his independent life.  It will mean more time for me on the couch with chocolate!

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Senior Year!

This is it! Senior year!!  S didn't think he would ever make it.  I have told him throughout the years, "If you just follow my plan, your senior year will be relaxed and fun."  Through a lot of parental encouraging or as he calls it "nagging", we have made it to senior year.  He has now agreed that it will be relaxed and fun.

Here is the plan:

1.  English:  Writing, writing, and more writing.  S will be doing daily writing - possibly through his own blog.  We have some research papers and larger writing projects scheduled that are related to his history course.  Our ultimate writing goal is to get him to write faster through typing or through speech recognition software (Dragon Dictation).  He will be reading literature for school and reading on his own.

2.  Math:  S is working on College Algebra using ALEKS -- Assessment and Learning, K-12, Higher ....  We have used ALEKS for the past 4 years.  It is an online math program which is great for S and his fine motor issues.  He enjoys it.  It is an ACE credit recommended course.  Our hope is that the community college will give him credit for this course.  If not, College Algebra will be a review for him. Math is a subject that he tolerates even though he does well in it.  He would probably enjoy it more if he were able to write the problems out himself.

3.  Science:  S is working on a .5 credit Equine Science course using Simple Schooling's "The Science of Horses" along with Rick Parker's Equine Science 4th Edition textbook.  Because he takes therapeutic riding lessons, this course is pertinent to him.  

4.  History:  S will be finishing up History Odyssey Modern Times History from www.pandiapress.com.  Since he loves history, we spread this history course over his Junior and Senior year, and we have delved deeply into the assigned topics and branched off into other topics.  We will be starting this year with World War II.  Because it is a level 2 course, we have supplemented with a lot of extras.  

a.  Uncle Eric books (Bluestocking Press):  The Thousand Year War in the Mideast:  How It Affects You Today, World War I:  The Rest of the Story and How It Affects You Today, World War II:  The Rest of the Story and How It Affects You Today.  We have used the study guide for the WW I book and will use it for the WW II book this year.

b.  Videos from The Great Courses (http://www.thegreatcourses.com/) to include:  "Turning Points in Modern History", "Churchill", " A History of Hitler's Empire", and "Utopia and Terror in the 20th Century"

c.  "America at War" DVD set

d.  "America:  The Story of Us" DVD set

e.  "The Presidents" DVD set

f.  Movies related to history

g.  Field trips

h.  Literature

5.  German IV:  Rosetta Stone Homeschool Version (http://www.rosettastone.com/homeschool-german)

6.   Personal Finance:  "Foundations in Personal Finance" course (http://www.daveramsey.com/store/kids-teens/home-school/foundations-homeschool-teacher-student-pack/prodFOUHOMEPACKCUR.html)

7.  Business elective:  I purchased Starting a Micro Business for Teens by Carol Topp and the accompanying workbook.  There are 2 other books in the series:  Running a Micro Business and Money and Taxes in a Micro Business. We will see how S enjoys the first book before I purchase the other two.  He would love to have his own business, so we will see how this works.

8.  Russian II:  Rosetta Stone Homeschool Version (http://www.rosettastone.com/homeschool-russian)- S hasn't decided if he is going to continue with Russian or not.  He likes his foreign languages.  We told him that he will graduate with 5 foreign language credits without taking Russian II, but it is up to him if he wants to put the time into the course.  We will see as the year moves along.

9.  Nutrition:  Just this week, S told me he might enjoy taking an elective course in Nutrition.  That is what his senior year is about.  I am looking at different books he could read, websites, videos, etc. to come up with a plan for him.  

Hard to believe we have made it to this point.  We are looking forward to this last year of our homsechool journey.

Since everything is all under control, you will find my husband and me on the couch with chocolate!

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“What’s wrong with him?”

Mmmmm….”I know I didn’t hear you just ask that question,” is what my internal voice says.  My external voice responds with “Nothing.”  

Person who just asked rude, inappropriate question looks at me strangely like I don’t know what I’m talking about.  Uncomfortable silence followed by them walking away.  I’m sure they are thinking what a poor, confused mother I am living in denial about my son.  Except I’m not.

You see, there is nothing wrong with my son - nothing more than any other teenage boy has going on in his life (messy room, oversleeping, talking back, not wanting to do schoolwork, wanting to play on the computer longer than he is supposed to, etc.).  

Does my son have a disability?  Yes, he does.  You didn’t ask me that question.  We don’t mind talking about his disability (see What’s wrong with your legs?).  

Maybe that’s the question you should have asked.  We would have answered that one.

Is it any wonder that sometimes I need to be on the couch with chocolate (and sometimes wine)?

“What’s wrong with your legs?”

This is the question a young boy asked S the other day while we waited in the hospital lab for a blood draw.  Kids will often ask, and S doesn’t have an issue answering their questions.  We have always talked about the importance of children learning because it is part of the acceptance of others.  Even when he was younger, we encouraged S to answer the questions himself.

S responded by telling this boy, “I have CP.”  (I whispered that the boy probably didn’t know what CP was.)  

“I have Cerebral Palsy.  It means my legs don’t work like your legs do.”

“You don’t have any legs?”  (S was sitting in his wheelchair in a pair of shorts with both legs visible.)

“I have both of my legs.  They just aren’t very strong like your legs are.”

I asked the boy if he liked to run.  He told me he runs very fast.  I told him that S has a hard time running, but he uses crutches to walk.

“Oh, ok.  I have bug bites.  They itch a lot, but they are going to go away.”  And with that, the conversation was over because he needed to get a drink from the water fountain.

If only adults were as upfront, honest, and accepting as kids are.  We could learn so much from them.  

I do have to give a shout out to the parents of this child.  During this whole exchange, the parents never came over to shush their child or shoo him away from the teenage boy in the wheelchair.  They let it play out.  Good for you mom and dad!

I think this happy exchange calls for some time on the couch with chocolate!

Tell Us a Little About Your Son

Every time we have moved or every time we have had to see a new doctor or the start of every new school year or...you get the picture...we are asked to tell this person or people a little about S.  That is easier said than done.  There isn't a little to tell about him.  There is a lot to tell.  The individual parts don't do him justice.

I will attempt to tell you "a little about S".

1.  He has Cerebral Palsy-Spastic Diplegia.  

a.  His CP impacts his legs primarily.  He used a walker when he was younger.  He walks with crutches now and uses a single crutch around our house.  He uses a wheelchair for longer distances. He had Botox injections for his legs when he was in the second and third grades.  He has also had muscle release surgery on both legs - heel cords, adductors, and hamstrings.  

b.  His fine motor skills are also impacted with the right side being impacted more than the left.  He has functional handwriting - words, numbers, signature.  His primary mode of writing is through word processing.  He types - slowly.  He also uses some speech recognition software.  

c.  His speech is also impacted a little bit by his CP.  His speech is breathy, sometimes he stutters, and sometimes he locks up and is unable to speak.  

d.  He had PT, OT, and Speech for a number of years.  He is currently not doing any outside therapy.

2.  He has Attention Deficit Disorder.  

3.  He has some vision issues which include nystagmus.  He may actually get a label of Low Vision, but we haven't had that conversation yet.  His accommodations for his CP have always covered any accommodations we might need for his vision.  He had muscle release surgery on both eyes when he was in the first grade.

4.  He has scoliosis.  He has been monitored by his Orthopedic Surgeon for a few years now.  There has been no treatment for this.

5.  He was treated for a number of years for Growth Hormone Deficiency.  He decided last year he was done with that.  The Pediatric Endocrinologist continues to follow him.

6.  He is allergic to Penicillin.  We found that out the one time we had to take him to the doctor for being sick.  He is extremely healthy!

7.  He is very smart.  He loves history and foreign languages and tolerates other subjects.

8.  He is a Christian.

9.  He doesn't like being called disabled.

10.  He loves rock music from the 80's.

11.  He turns 18 in December and will graduate in 2015 which is why we are working hard on transitioning him to adulthood.  

All of this listed above is why we always tell people, you have to meet him.  He is more than just a bunch of medical labels.  He is a whole package.

I will be on the couch with chocolate as I contemplate what else I could tell you about S.

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Sent in My Senior's Paperwork

What a week it has been!  We started the week in Aruba and ended by sending in S’s homeschool paperwork for his senior year.

Monday:

Last full day of vacation.  We spent the majority of the day at the beach enjoying the waters of the Caribbean.  No one in the family was ready to leave.  It is the one place we all agree that we could stay longer.

Tuesday:

Travel day.  We started by having breakfast at The Dutch Pancake House in Oranjestad.  We had not eaten at this restaurant on other trips, but it quickly became a new favorite on this trip.  The food was delicious!  My new favorite treat is poffertjes. Yummy!

After that, we headed to the airport.  The Aruban airport is one that you need to be at early because there are a number of lines that you must go through.

1.  Ticketing:  We use the kiosk because we are a carry-on kind of family.

2.  A line to make sure you have your boarding passes and passports.

3.  Aruban Immigration

4.  Security

5.  US Customs

6.  Security

7.  At the gate and waiting

Our flight only took off 30 minutes late this trip.  We had a 3 hour layover in Atlanta which gave us enough time for Jamba Juice and supper.  We ended up with an additional 30 minute delay. We spent time at 3 different gates.  It didn’t take us long to fall asleep on the plane.  We arrived in Richmond around midnight.  By the time we got off the plane and got our vehicle, we made it home around 1:45.

Wednesday:

My husband made it to work.  I felt bad that he had to get up, so I got up and headed to the grocery store.  We had a loaf of bread in the house, so I didn’t think that would go too far with the teenage boys.  I finished up laundry also.  J had practice that night, so we rolled right back into normal.

Thursday:

Back at it!  S had an Ophthalmology appointment with a new doctor (a friend of ours from church).  It went well.  His vision has changed, so we will be ordering new glasses next week.  S is going back in August to “play with” some Low Visions toys/tools.  He might be at the point where he is going to get a Moderate Low Vision diagnosis/label.  Not sure about that.  We will have to discuss that and make sure S is on board.

J had a dentist appointment in the afternoon. It was his last appointment with the pediatric dentist.  The staff has been wonderful.  Fortunately, the adult dentist and J’s orthodontist are all part of the same practice, so we will continue to see them.  After his appointment, he headed up to practice.

Friday:

I headed to the gym this morning before my appointment this afternoon.  Fun, fun, fun.

The highlight of the day was mailing S’s senior year homeschool paperwork to the school district! Yeah!  He is excited about his senior year.  We have a plan for his courses although we have had to tweak them a little bit.  He was going to take a couple of courses at a co-op he attended his sophomore year.  They are going through some changes, and we don’t think it is going to work out. Oh well!  On to Plan B - roll with the punches.

S worked on math this afternoon.  He does math year round.  He knows that when this course is finished he will be done with high school math!  Definitely an incentive.

J had practice again tonight.  My husband and S are attending the Virginia Shakespeare Festival watching Julius Caesar.  We met in Williamsburg for supper, and they went to the play.  We took S last year to see Richard III, and he thoroughly enjoyed it.  He has been asking all year when it started again.  Hard not to take him to see Shakespeare.

I am hanging at Starbucks until J is done with practice.  We will head home and hang out for a little bit.  He has Saturday morning practice, so we are back out the door at 8:15.

Now that I am back to reality, you know where to find me - on the couch with chocolate.

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